Broken
by hopeisahorizon
Summary: Hinata's sick, she's always been sick. It's in her best interest to finally let go but what if she meets someone who changes her mind? Au Naruhina.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** So I read the fault in our stars a few weeks ago and I can't get it out of my mind and it gave me an idea for a short multi-chapter fic. So I'll just leave this first chapter here and see how things go and then I'll decide if I should continue. Also, this was done really quickly since I'm going on vacation tomorrow so I apologize for any grammar mistakes and things like that.

**Disclaimer:** Characters do not belong to me.

* * *

It's moments like these that I hate the most. I was in yet another hospital bed with severe chest pains. Not even the drugs could fully lull me into a deep slumber, nothing could. I am cursed to stay here, lying as still as possible so as to not elicit another wave of pain and wait until the doctors came in to tell me what I already knew, what I had always known.

"It's not working." Those were the most dreadful words my family had to hear and yet they still kept coming. Although my father is quite wealthy even I am sure that his immense wealth had been dried out from so many failed treatment attempts. Every time Dr. Tsunade said the words my mother broke out into a sob, every single time.

No exception.

I try to not let it get to me, I really do. But what's a seventeen year-old girl's supposed to do when you see your mother break down in front of you? Nothing, that's what you do. You hold in the tears and you set your jaw determinedly and tell her that you will be fine and that things are bound to get better even if you are lying through your teeth. It's the only way to spare even an inch of their feelings.

It took me awhile to realize my eyes were still closed, probably because I certainly did not want to open them and see how blood-shot my mother's eyes were or see my father's arm wrap around her shoulders to try and give her some comfort when I could see that in his eyes he was breaking too. There was no comfort to give.

I was dying.

There was no beating around the bush, there were no ifs or maybes, not this time. I feel it, like my body is giving me some time to accommodate to what's going to happen, which is inevitable death.

Deciding I should at least speak to my parents I cracked one of my eyes opened. My eyes had always been a particularly rare colour. They were ghostly pale, kind of like my sickly skin. Finally gathering enough energy to look around the room I spot my parents beside my bed, my mother holds a tissue in her hand and her eyes are puffy, no surprise.

What does surprise me is my father's tears, they were clear and ultimately endless. "I'm dying huh?" I speak out loud and close my eyes before they noticed I saw them to gain their attention and hopefully to give them time to clean themselves up. I know they hate it when I see them so distressed, well at least my father hates it. My mom can't seem to stop herself but I don't hold it against her, I can tell that this process is worse for her than it is for me.

I can hear a broken, muffled sob coming from my mother, no doubt my words had set her off. I sigh aloud and try to sit up on the bed. **Try** being the key word here since I barely had enough energy to lift an arm. My dad quickly came to my side and lifted me up.

In that little instant where his strong arms lifted me with such ease I remembered a time when I was young, no older than four. We were in our backyard and I would pretend to be an airplane and my father would oblige and lift me higher than his head and spin me around. I shut my eyes and breathed in deeply, I couldn't afford to have such nostalgic thoughts at a time like this, the last thing my parents needed from me were tears.

Opening them again I could tell my dad had already wiped the tears in his eyes and had taken a seat on my bed, my mom was still an emotional wreck sobbing her way into misery on the chair at my other side. I tried to do my best and smile at them but the pain was so great I could tell it had come out like a grimace. Thankfully I didn't need to speak since my doctor was walking through the door.

"Hiashi, Hanako, Hinata…" She greeted all of us with a serious tone but instead of paying attention to her I thought about how all our names began with the letter H, it was interesting. "I'm afraid I don't have good news." She stated like it was a big surprise.

I had to hold back my snort because we all knew it was coming, this was not a surprise. "Your cancer has spread, the medicine isn't working anymore…" She broke off looking anywhere but at me, she felt sorry for me. She probably felt like she had failed me but she hadn't because she had tried her best and I appreciated her for never bullshitting my condition. She told me exactly what my chances for survival always were.

They were never good.

"How much?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. All my life I've been a fairly soft spoken person and when I got the cancer I spoke up even less but that says little about my character. I like to think I'm strong, I've never cried when I've gotten bad news at least not in front of my parents.

Her warm golden eyes look at me with unshed tears and I wonder, ever so briefly what it must be like to have most of your patients die one by one. "We're going to try this new experimental drug…" She said, eyes completely locked with mine, as if my parents weren't there.

"If it works then you'll stay alive and if it doesn't you will most likely die in five months." At the end of her sentence my mother yet again began crying and my father wiped at his eyes desperately, I however remained strong.

"And how will you know if it's working?" I ask, referring to the drug.

"You won't die." She said it so plainly and straight forward I wanted to laugh, so I did. My parents and Tsunade looked at me strangely and I shrugged good naturedly.

"My apologies, it just sounded weird." I tell them trying to hold back the laughter which seemed to cause more pain to well up in my chest. I cringed and exhaled slowly, willing the pain away.

My father already had his hand on top of mine, breathing slowly with me which I would never admit to be eternally grateful for. "We will start the drug tomorrow, until then I suggest you sleep because sleep…"

I didn't even let her finish. "Fights cancer, yeah yeah."

She left without another word and once again we were engulfed by this heart-wrenching silence. I turned to address both my parents seriously. "It's going to be okay if I die, you still have Hanabi and you have to take care of her." I tell them and even though my voice sounds strong inside I'm screaming and cursing and crying like the little girl I never got to be.

I see my father nod his head in understanding and kiss my forehead tenderly, a show of affection he rarely gives. I figure that knowing you won't have a daughter to kiss or hug makes a parent become tender but I wouldn't know, I'm never going to have a daughter.

"You should probably go." I croak out, hoping they leave before I unravel into the mess that I truly am.

"Okay, we'll come by tomorrow before they try out the new procedure." My father answers me.

As they are exiting the room I finally see my mother a little calm and she turns to look at me, something I wish she didn't do because it makes it so much harder to remain strong for her when you see her like this. "It'll work this time, you'll see." She says just loud enough for me to hear and I only manage a weak nod before they exit the room and close the door behind them.

As soon as the door shuts I break, I break like every other time I've been told that the treatment isn't working except this time it's worse. I know the drug won't work and I know I won't live to see another summer here, and that frightens me. No, no it doesn't, it down right terrifies me.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I seemed to have fallen asleep sometime after my parents left because I open my eyes to see absolutely no one in the room. The emptiness feels good and bad at the same time, good because I'm sure I look like hell after crying for hours but bad because the loneliness gets to me.

Not even a few minutes go by before someone rudely opens the door without asking. Thoroughly annoyed and still sleepy I look up to yell at the person only for my words to die in my throat. Captivating cerulean eyes stare at me dazedly and spikey blonde hair frames a nice looking face. The boy seemed to be around my age but I could tell that he was healthy.

He was built like a Greek God. Well, at least I thought so, I wouldn't really know considering I barely get to interact with people nonetheless guys. "Umm, hi." I hear him speak and the deepness of his voice takes me by surprise. For such a bright looking boy his voice sounds like it belongs to someone else.

"H-hello." I stutter out nervously. He takes a cautious step into my room as if to not scare me and looks around wearily.

"I'm sorry to bother you but I'm a little lost." He admits and I see a tanned arm wrapping around his neck in what I would assume is an old habit. He might've been embarrassed but the smile he wore covered up for any blunders.

I couldn't help but laugh slightly. "I'm afraid I'm probably of no help." I tell him and it's true, I barely know what floor of the hospital I'm in, probably ICU but then again maybe not, I don't know and I certainly don't want to think anymore.

"Oh." He says then chuckles nervously and I wonder what makes him so nervous. Maybe it was being in a hospital since I sincerely doubt I'm the reason he would be in such a frenzy. I have blackish hair that barely goes past my shoulder blades and it's probably lost any shine it ever had thanks to all the treatments. I'm also wearing a hospital gown and there's like a billion machines hooked up to me, I was anything but extraordinary and definitely nothing akin to beautiful. And yet, this handsome guy shifted uncomfortably as he looked into my eyes.

"I'm really sorry I bothered you." He said and it sounded genuine with a hint of sadness. I only shook my head and told him he really wasn't an inconvenience, I was silently praising him for being the thing to get my mind off my terminal status. I guess I must've been so lost in thought that the boy noticed since he took a few steps closer to me and placed a strong hand over mine. "Are you alright?"

"Um, yes." I answered uncomfortably, never having had any boy that close to me besides my older cousin Neji. "Just a bit distracted I guess."

He grinned at me child-like and I swear I felt my lungs collapse and my heart yell fanatically. This wasn't the smile of a boy who was sexy-which he still was- but it was his real smile, a smile that took up most of his face yet it seemed breathtaking. My smile in no way could ever compare to his. "I'm Naruto, by the way." He introduced himself and extended his hand.

I shook it cautiously while muttering my name that also seemed to sag in comparison with his. "So, do you come here often?" He blurts out and I can tell from the look on his face that he wants to swallow his whole foot.

I merely giggle at him and stare at him. "I'm here more often then I'd like to admit, yes." I tell him in my gentle voice while smiling at him. He doesn't know about my condition but I can't lie. And this is an opportunity to if only have a normal sympathy free conversation with a person and I was not about to ruin that by telling him why I was here in the first place.

He seems to be rattled slightly by my answer but then smiles, the good old sexy small smile of his and stands up from my bed. "I'd really like to talk more Hinata but I'm looking for a friend of mine and I should probably find him before he kills me for being so late."

I nod my head once and smile, feeling slightly disappointed that my conversation with him is so short. He seems to notice my dampened mood because he keeps talking. "Yeah it's just that Sasuke really is a bastard and he is very impatient."

Sasuke.

I know him, he's the only person I get along with at this hospital and outside of it. He knows what it's like to feel defeated, to feel like you are a corpse wired to walk as far as you can. "Sasuke Uchiha?" I ask timidly, cutting him off in the middle of his rant.

"Yeah!" He yells excitedly though I can tell from a glint in his eyes that he seems really sad whenever Sasuke is mentioned. I thought maybe it was best for him to go see Sasuke, I know the black haired boy doesn't get to many visitors since people don't like his forlorn personality, I however do not mind it.

"Umm, if you make your way to the 6th floor Uchiha's room should be…" I pause for a second to think of the room number, mine is always 615 and he is always two rooms beside mine. "617."

Naruto's face lightens when I tell him the information. "Great, that's only a couple rooms away." And then he starts walking towards the door, right before he walks out he stares back at me with the natural grin, too big for his face. "It was really great meeting you and I'm sure I'll see you again Hinata."

He leaves and I feel my heart beat speed up slightly. I shouldn't feel excited that he said he was going to see me again, I can't feel excited.

**You're dying. You're dying. You're dying. **

I keep reminding myself but none of that matters because for the first time in years I slept with a real smile on my face.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning came quicker than I would have liked. I groaned slightly from the pain I could feel along my hip and in my chest. It really sucked to have cancer everywhere. I opened my eyes to see long blonde hair. "Dr. Tsunade." I greet tersely, I know why she's here.

She nods at me, sympathy still in her eyes, so I look away and bite my tongue to keep whatever rude words I was going to yell at her deep in my throat. "It's time?"

"Yes. I'm just waiting for your wheelchair." She informs me as my parents, my younger sister and a wheelchair enter the room.

"I can walk, you know." I tell her, and I make sure my parents and sister hear so they can at least have the peace of mind that I am still trying to live, though I'm not really sure if I am or not. To be honest I probably couldn't walk, it took me half of my energy just to breathe I couldn't imagine how walking or standing or doing anything would go.

Tsunade only laughed at me and shook her head. "Doctor's order are a wheelchair." She says referring to herself and I am glad she is here and knows what to say to keep my parents optimistic.

I wheel myself out again taking more energy than possible and into a room that is sterile and clean and too much like a morgue for my liking. "Preview to an oncoming attraction?" I asked jokingly though neither the nurses nor my doctor thought it was funny.

All they did in this very freaky room was hook me up to an IV which would be the new drug and wheel me out with it at my side. "Side effects include vomiting, bruising, dizziness, depression…" I tuned out as Tsunde informed my parents. She always said these were side effects of the drugs or of the cancer itself but they really weren't.

They were just side effects of dying.

"Where do you want to go?" My mother asked me cautiously.

"The gathering area." I tell her and she starts wheeling me in that direction. The gathering area is just a big open room with TVs and toys for the younger kids, I don't particularly like it but I prefer it to being surrounded by the same four walls with my worried parents and clueless sister at my side.

As soon as we get their Hanabi goes to the play area with other kids, some of them sick and some of them not. I feel-even if just for a second- lucky that Hanabi is one of the kids who is not, because I would rather go through this myself than it be her.

"Hyuga." Sasuke greets me and mother places the wheelchair beside him. My parents walk towards Sasuke's parents no doubt to tell them the 'good' news.

"Uchiha." I nod at him and grin, I love pissing him off and he hates it when people smile. Though this time he only smiles softly which takes me by surprise and the thing that comes out of my mouth was not thought out at all. "Are you dying?" I ask frantically.

He looks up at me, those black holes of nothing can probably see more of me and my fears and insecurities than either of my parents. We understand each other, simple as that. If I had to be honest with myself he was probably the only friend I had left.

"Aren't we all dying?" He smirks, that goddamn condescending smirk but it alleviates my worries a little.

"Some faster than others, clearly." I gesture around us and he laughs slightly.

Sasuke has a tumor, a tumor in his brain that the doctors can't seem to shrink. I didn't hear this from Sasuke, my parents told me. And from that moment I knew he was like me, he didn't like to be known as the cancer patient who is strong willed and optimistic because he wasn't. He was fucking miserable just like I was. He didn't think any of this was fair and he was right.

"I hear you met Naruto." He tells me out of nowhere and I whip my head back to look at him so fast I almost snap it. I hear his laughing before I see his ever present smirk.

"Yeah, walked into the wrong room I guess." I shrug, trying to downplay my feelings but I knew that Sasuke would be able to decipher how much I liked his friend.

"Right, he liked you." He informs me and I feel my heart swell with happiness because if anything I know Sasuke is not a liar. He is blunt and aggressive and sometimes the biggest asshole ever but he was always honest.

"How do you know?"

"Idiot told me so." He chuckles lightly but they turn into coughs of blood.

He was dying too.

"Sasuke…" I start, my voice softer than usual, I want to help him. I want to be his rock like he sometimes is for me but I know he won't let me.

"It's just a side effect." He assures me but I'm not sure I believe him.

The rest of the time we sit in relative silence, neither of us are particularly chatty and today didn't seem like a good day to talk anyways. It wasn't that I could read minds or anything but I could tell Sasuke was as screwed as I am. We are both sitting there feeling shitty while waiting for imminent and inescapable death.

"It's not fair." I mutter softly, my voice cracking slightly to show a glimpse of my inner turmoil.

"No, it's not." He agrees and neither of us wants to look at each other because I know if I cry he will too and if he cries I will join, because at the end of the day we are still sick and dying and nothing would ever fix that.


	2. Losing Battle

**Author's Note:** Just came back from vacation yesterday and it seems that this story got a great response so as I promised I will continue it! Also, if you follow Brighter Future a new chapter should be out in a couple of days! Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters.

* * *

Over a week had passed since I started the new treatment. As always I had to stay in the hospital until the doctors were sure my body wouldn't react violently to the drug which unfortunately had happened more times than I'd like to admit. My body has betrayed me countless times in the past, none more than the eternal screw over it handed me over a year ago. It's why I'm here, and it's why I no longer have any hope.

The first two days of the treatment were absolute hell. I couldn't move my head without the room spinning full speed and having to throw up continuously. My mother stayed at my side the entire days which was both a blessing and a curse. I loved spending time with her, especially knowing I wouldn't be able to in the future but I hated that she had to see me like this.

For the better part of those days I spent training my ears to listen to my mother's quiet sobs at night and I've come to the realization that I might have mutated. I swear, like really swear, I could hear her heart breaking when she looked at me. It only increased my nausea tenfold and to add on I felt ridiculously guilty for being her daughter. It was almost as if this was my fault, like I wasn't strong enough to keep cancer away.

After the initial days of hell my doctors had decided that they would try and accommodate my discomfort. The accommodation came in the forms of –bigger than I'd like- pills. One for pain and another for nausea. However, they suggested that I only take one at a time, seeing as together they could have yet another side effect all together which I thought to be absurd. If you're going to cure my side effects you might as well cure them all!

That wasn't the case, so here I am more than a week later having to choose whether I want to puke myself to dehydration or if I want to wince every time my body is touched.

On this particular morning I chose pain. I'm so goddamn tired of throwing up. Well, I lied. That's not actually true. I'm not tired of the vomiting, I'm just tired. Tired of fighting, tired of crying and tired of…living.

Aside from all these side effects if one good thing comes out from being in the hospital so often it's that the nurses know exactly who I am. Since most of them are actually nice I get pretty decent food and I can even talk them into letting me wear my own clothes.

Today, for example I'm wearing baggy black capri pants and a fairly tight dark purple three quarter sleeve shirt. I'm not pretty or anything, especially not after the cancer came back but I'm not terribly ugly either.

I opened my eyes from the sitting position on my bed and decided that wallowing in self-pity was repulsive so I got up from my bed and walked out the room, intent on going to the gathering area. My whole body ached as I made my way there but I ignored it as best as I could, I had made my choice that morning.

I was pleasantly surprised to get to the couch area and find someone else sitting there. It wasn't even six in the morning yet and most people were still asleep. That was another downfall of the new drug; insomnia.

"Hello Sasuke." I greeted and took a seat next to him with a smile on my face. The couch was only big enough to accommodate the both of us but we weren't cramped.

"Hey." He responded but I could tell he was in pain from the way his teeth clenched when the couch sunk with my weight.

It made me sad, that the only person I really considered a friend was dying as fast as I was. Most of the time I spend at the hospital Sasuke is there too so we actually hang out a lot. I've come to see him kind of the way I look at my older cousin Neji. Except Sasuke doesn't pity me. I guess that's because Sasuke knows what it's like.

He and I have very different stories. Most of my life has been a losing battle with my cancer and although that sounds utterly depressing it's better than what he had to go through. My parents, once again had informed me that Sasuke's life had changed when he was only fifteen. The cancerous tumor popped out suddenly and without warning. There was little the doctors could do and what little they could do eventually became nothing.

I like to think of him as a strong burning fire in the middle of the desert that was suddenly put out by rain. From the conversations we've had he used to be what most people strived to be like in high school and it was all taken away from him. Everything he ever knew was turned inside out and that, I think is much worse.

"You're up early." He commented nonchalantly though I could still see him twitching in pain.

"Beauty of having cancer." I answered, voice filled with sarcasm. Really, sarcasm was my second language. I'm a pretty quiet person but when I'm not her, I'm this.

I saw him nod from the corner of my eye and turn back to watch the TV so I followed suit. I almost wanted to laugh at what I saw. In front of me stood a lively looking yellow sponge with an incredibly creepy smile. Beside him stood his pink best friend with an equally creepy smile.

"I didn't peck you for a fan." I said, trying to hide my smile. But the notion that Sasuke Uchiha was a Spongebob fan was really amusing.

He chortled and shrugged at the same time, albeit painfully and turned his full attention to the screen. I noticed how his body released tension immediately so I shut up and turned away. If Spongebob relaxed him who was I to judge?

We were already dead, what little amusement came we held onto, I knew.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sasuke spoke again an hour and a half later, catching me by surprise. He really wasn't the talkative type. "I've been wondering something for a long time now, Hyuga."

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

"How is it that you smile, even during your impeding death?"

Insulted. That's how I should've felt after he said that. Really, I mean he was telling me I was going to die. But I couldn't feel insulted because it was a fact. So I only laughed slightly until my body protested, rather loudly. He turned to me expecting a real answer.

"It's hollow." I say shortly but I could tell he wasn't satisfied with the answer. "It's not driven by courage or hope. It's not because I'm brave or because I'm happy. It's simply plastered on my face to keep them at bay." I tell him while pointing to the busy doctors and nurses surrounding us.

"Do you have **any** hope?" He asked, emphasizing the word any. For a mere second I caught his dark eyes and found vulnerability. Was he looking for comfort?

"I…" Breathing I looked around for a minute. I really wanted to lie to him, to give him some semblance of the girl that I used to be, the girl who was willingly going to fight this cancer. But that wasn't me anymore, that girl died last year. "No." I breathed out uneasily.

I saw him stiffen and smile stiffly. I could only manage to sigh out loud and bring my knees up to my chest even though it elicited a fresh wave of pain.

"Sasuke, Hinata!" Someone yelled from across the room making the both of us look up only to see Naruto.

My cheeks heated up slightly at the sight of him. It had been the third time I had seen him, the time I met him and then he had come back to visit me a couple of days ago much to my surprise. I didn't think he was serious about spending more time with me but he was. He had come to my room and we had played every card game known to man and then watched TV with Sasuke like I would always do.

"Hi Naruto." I said, while Sasuke made some sort of non-committal noise.

"I can't believe you guys are awake, I was hoping to wake Hinata up so we could scare you bastard."

I giggled slightly at his exuberance but I could tell Sasuke was thoroughly annoyed. I couldn't pinpoint why it happened but Naruto's presence seemed to make Sasuke happy and sad all at once. It was as if part of him was glad to see the blonde and another part wanted to kick his ass.

"How're you guys feeling?" Naruto asked, blue eyes locked on me. The way they softened when he looked at me made my heart jump but I had to control my feelings, I couldn't do that to him.

"I'm good, how about you?" I answer softly, my shyness always present around him.

He smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up to tell me he was doing well too which I found to be endearing. I looked back to Sasuke to hear his answer.

"I have cancer you idiot, how do you think I am?"

My eyes widened at the venom behind the words and I could tell Naruto was surprised to hear that too. Though the smile never left his face as he pulled up a chair and sat in front of us I could see the sadness lurking behind his eyes making my heart ache even more than it already was. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?" I asked him, seeing as it was a Tuesday and hoping to distract him.

Naruto grinned at me. "I skipped. Thought hanging out with you two would be more fun."

I frowned slightly at his answer, I doubted that was the truth. I let it go though I didn't know him enough to question his motives just like he never questioned me about my cancer. We sat in an awkward silence since Sasuke still looked angry, I decided that should change.

"How long before our families show up?" I ask him with a knowing smile, we ask this almost every day. Our families visit all the time as early as possible. I saw him smile and breathed out in relief, at least he really wasn't angry.

"Not long at all." He answered knowingly as his older brother walked towards us from the elevator, it amazed me sometimes how good looking Itachi was.

Itachi came over to us and ruffled his brother's hair slightly though when he caught sight of me he grinned and walked over to my side. I didn't really know what was happening until he pulled me up and engulfed me in a big and very painful hug. I couldn't help it, my eyes closed in pain, I cringed and I hissed slightly.

Next thing I knew Sasuke punched his brother in the arm causing him to let me go. I stepped back slightly catching my breath but my body was left with a stinging pain. "Are you fucking stupid?" I heard Sasuke shout. I would've told him it was okay but I really only wanted to concentrate on decreasing my pain level. As it was everything around me seemed to fade back and I kept my eyes closed.

I felt someone stand in front of me and I was jolted in surprise when they delicately took hold of my wrists. My eyes shot open to look at Naruto who was smiling softly at me. "You're okay." He said in the most soothing way possible and it caused pleasant tingles to fly up and down my entire body.

It impressed me how just his voice, his touch and his smile managed to ebb away the pain. Or maybe it was because I had something else to focus on, I wasn't sure but I knew I didn't want him to let me go. I nodded slightly at him and smiled looking towards an apologetic looking Itachi.

"I'm so sorry, I just…forgot." He said his voice filled with remorse. I could only manage to shake my head muttering a small it's okay.

"Why are you even here?" Sasuke bit out, a question meant for his brother but I had a feeling he was asking Naruto as well.

"I'm going to go with you when they do your check up, in fact we have to go downstairs right now so let's go."

Itachi helped his brother stand and they walked away from me, from us. I had totally forgotten Naruto was still holding my hands, it felt so natural. Though I really should let go. Clearing my throat I gently pulled my hands out of his. "Thanks for that."

He waved my thanks off as a no big deal and help me sit back down on the couch. Even though he was still smiling there was so much sadness in his eyes and I knew it came from Sasuke. "It's hard dealing with it, Sasuke's just trying." I try and explain.

He pulled the chair he was previously using to sit directly in front of me and once again took a seat. "Well let me tell you that you deal with it better." He laughed slightly.

I shrugged. "I've had more practice." I told him but I doubted that was the actual reason why, no matter how much practice you have cancer is still cancer and death is still death. There is no form of preparation, something I learned long ago.

His eyes changed slightly when he looked back to me and now I could see worry, for whom I could not decipher. "How much practice, exactly?"

There it was, the question I knew would come but I was hoping wouldn't arrive. I had to tell him the truth and it would end up with him at my funeral in less than five months. "I was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma when I was eight. It's pretty much a bone cancer. It was contained for a few years up until they thought they could cure it all at once with this new drug. So when I was twelve they told me I had no evidence of cancer left."

I breathed out slowly, hoping to calm my traitorous heart that wanted to cry so terribly bad. I could see he was worried but didn't press me on the matter so I continued anyways. "It came back three years later." I summarized, my throat going dry as I said the words so plainly. It may not have seemed like it was a big deal but it shattered my entire world. It thought I was free and that I would be able to live my whole life being a cancer survivor, that however was not the case.

He didn't say anything for a long time and I thought I might have repelled him. Something about loving a dead person could really turn you off, I was sure. But then he smiled, the big one. The one that took hold of most of his face and scooted closer to me. His looked awed and astounded though I couldn't understand why.

"Well you've beat it once you can do it again." There was so much confidence in his voice I couldn't find it in me to tell him I was told I was terminal, that I would die in five months so I just kept quiet and nodded my head in agreement. That was by far the worst lie I had ever told.

"So you and Sasuke?" I questioned, hoping to change the subject.

He pondered his answer for a minute while he pulled back from me, making me miss his warmth slightly. "I've known him since we were born, our parents are great friends." This made me wonder why he hadn't visited before last week, it didn't seem like him to abandon a friend.

"I went to study abroad for a couple of years, I didn't know he was sick." He answers honestly only peaking my interest even more.

"I think he hates me now." The thickness of his voice made me want to cry for him.

"That's not true." I tell him and I know it's the truth. Sasuke didn't hate Naruto for not knowing of his sickness, I was sure of this. I had a theory as to why Sasuke might resent Naruto but I didn't know if I could actually tell him.

He smiled ruefully at me, a smile I hated to see on his face. "Then how come he doesn't even want to talk to me?"

The words were just about ready to fall out of my mouth but I held them back, this was not the time to tell him. "He's Sasuke." I state simply making him laugh loudly.

"Well I'm glad you're nothing like Sasuke, Hinata." The way he said my name was enticing and I couldn't look away from the pools of blue that were his eyes. "I was wondering if maybe I could like umm see you again, not in the hospital. Like on a date?" The scared look in his eyes was endearing and the way he stumbled over his words in nervousness was sweet.

I should've said no, I really should've but I couldn't. He was sweet, kind, funny and absolutely gorgeous and I wanted to hang out with him. "Sure." I answer with a smile I couldn't hide.

Eyes glittering excitedly, his hands grasped mine a little aggressively though surprisingly I felt no pain, just butterflies in my stomach. "Great! When are you going to go home?"

I thought about it for a bit. The first week was up and my body seemed to be adapting fine so I guessed I would be released in a couple of days. "A couple of days."

"Okay, so can we go out the day you get home?" He asked excitedly catching me by surprise. I would've thought he would want to go out on a Friday or Saturday not the Thursday I was predicting to be home by.

"Ugh, like right then?"

"I mean yeah, I want to see you as soon as possible, I'm already going to have to wait a couple of days." He was back to being suave instead of nervous which was still sexy. He didn't even let me answer. "Do you have a cell phone?"

I nodded and pulled it out of my pocket. He grinned and pulled his out too, I saw him enter my number on his phone and text me and write something on my phone, mysteriously. "There, I have to get going but I'll text you to see when you're getting out."

He stood haphazardly, something I was beginning to relate Naruto with and walked backwards, still smiling at me until he smacked into one of my nurses. She glared at him and said something I couldn't quite hear. He answered then shuffled over to the elevators quickly and I'm assuming embarrassedly.

I smiled at nothing in particular and looked down at the text on my phone. The message read a simple 'hey' but his name on my phone caught my attention. There on the top of my screen where it indicated who was texting me I read 'Your Future Boyfriend'. And just like that my world crashed onto me, I had said yes to a date with a guy who actually liked me.

The worst part, he didn't know I wouldn't live long.


	3. First Date

**Author's Note:** Not only do I have the third chapter here I also have a little surprise. This past week I've practically been hibernating at home because I'm sick and since this idea was so fresh in my mind I wrote it out. ALL OF IT. As in, this story is finished. So leave a review and let me know how often you want me to update. Either Weekly or bi-weekly or daily… whatever you feel like and then I'll make a decision. So make sure to give me your opinions!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters.

* * *

True to his word Naruto texted me that whole afternoon and the days preceding it. They were pretty light conversations about movies and books we had both watched or read. When he called, which was more often than we texted we got to talking about family. He had told me that he was an only child and that his mother had died during childbirth but he hadn't given me much detail, not that I had asked.

He also knew that I lived with my parents, my sister and my older cousin in a house apparently not too far from his place. We discussed trivial matter in-my guess- an attempt to keep my mind off my cancer. By Thursday at noon I was arriving at home only to see Naruto standing on my doorstep. He looked extremely handsome in form fitting jeans and a button down dark blue shirt that accentuated how well built he was.

My parents looked at me expectantly but I had no real answer as to what he was doing on our front porch. My father walks up to him with a surprisingly warm smile, that's when I remember that our parents used to go to business school together so indeed my father knew Naruto's father.

"Hello sir." I heard Naruto greet him with a firm handshake, it was slightly amusing to see Naruto being so polite. "And hello ma'am." He turned to my mother with an equally charming smile.

He winked slightly at me and followed us into my house. "I was hoping it would be alright to take Hinata out on a picnic." Naruto asked my parents, an endearing nervousness to his voice. I looked pleadingly into my mom's eyes who caved and nodded her head, my father following afterwards.

"Cool! I'll just get changed, I'll be right back." I tell them and head up stairs. I grab a baby blue summer dress that doesn't look terrible on me and brush my teeth quickly. "Ready to go?" I ask him and I want to giggle when his eyes roam over my body. I hadn't ever felt beautiful or anything but he made me feel just that.

"Y-yeah." He stuttered out slowly, opening the front door for me. We cross over to his car and get inside, he looks hesitant to actually start the car.

"Are you alright?" I ask him.

"Yeah, I just don't really like driving. It's a little too stressful for my liking." I laugh slightly at what I believe is an absurd fear but I let it go, he was still Naruto.

"Why were you so polite to my parents?" I ask suddenly.

"Because I want them to like me." He answers simply but I don't really understand.

"It wouldn't matter if they don't like you, they're just parents." I tell him but the way he looks at me when he answers makes my inside melt.

"Yes, but they're **your** parents." It was quiet the rest of the way there.

He takes me to this quaint, barely used park about a twenty minute drive from my house and the summer day really adds beauty to the grass and the trees. He pulled out an orange blanket making me look at him. "My favourite colour." He tells me without me even having to ask him and I couldn't help but laugh quietly.

"Mine's lilac." I mention as an afterthought seeing as he was willing to share his with me.

"It suits you." He comments before taking out some pretty good looking sandwiches and grape fruit juice that looks like wine.

We eat in relative silence and watch a few children play around the playground. I know I probably could still play but it would probably take way too much of an effort and my body would be feeling its effects for days so I knew I shouldn't.

"I use to come to the playground a lot when I was younger, Sasuke and I used to hang upside down on the monkey bars and see who could hold on the longest."

I could picture two shorter versions of them laughing, running and playing. Hanging by their legs to see who could last more. It was this type of male competition that I would never understand. Still, picturing the scenario was quite amusing so I allowed myself the pleasure of laughing slightly.

I saw Naruto smile from beside me and lean in very close to me. He pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "You have a really pretty laugh." He whispers fairly close to my lips and the urge to kiss him is inexplicable. I start and pull away from him slightly. He looks mildly disappointed before he smiles to cover it up.

I had never thought about kissing a guy like this before. Sure I had kissed boys but the last time I had actually kissed one was when I was fifteen, over two years ago. And since my cancer came back I hadn't had an interest in anybody. But my interest in Naruto took me by surprise, it was sudden and strong. I was immensely attracted to Naruto Uzumaki, not just because of his looks but his sunny personality seemed to lighten me up.

We stayed at the park for some time before he stood up and began packing everything. I assumed my company had kind of bored him and that's why we were leaving so I sadly helped him in his packing. We were walking towards his car when he spoke again. "So there's this really cool photo booth I wanna take you to."

He wants to spend more time with me? "Okay." I answer with a smile, happy he actually wanted to keep hanging out with me but at the same time I knew I was getting dangerously close to leading him on and I knew I couldn't do that to him.

The photo booth was kind of weird. It was just sitting out in the middle of nowhere. "I know it looks totally creepy but it's legit." He assures me so I follow him out of the car.

He was right, the photo booth was real and it was actually cozy inside. I went in first and Naruto followed after me, I really had no idea what to do with this. The people I used to be friends with were mostly male because for some reason I just couldn't quite get along with girls that well.

He smiled at my confused face put our cheeks together side by side before pressing a green button. I saw him grin wildly so I smiled as well. A flash went off and a picture was taken. Next Naruto stuck out his tongue and I glanced at him my nose scrunched up. Flash and picture.

I felt Naruto slowly guide my chin to look at him and he pressed his forehead gently against mine, I had very contradicting feelings about this position. Half of me wanted to eliminate the distance between us and the other half screamed at me to pull away because I was sick and he didn't know.

I tried my best to hold in my urge by biting my bottom lip at the corner of my mouth, I don't think either of us noticed the third picture being taken. I was so lost in his blue eyes I could've sworn I was lost at sea, I never wanted to be found. I could tell he was in a trance as well, eyes focussed on mine as his lips slowly moved towards mine.

I was frozen in place when his lips touched mine, my eyes closing automatically and I was thankful for the flash that went off, allowing me to wake up from my daze. I pushed him gently off of my lips and he gave me a hesitant smile.

I had two options at this point. Reject or accept. "Naruto, I can't." I told him honestly, my eyes not looking at him.

I felt him go stiff beside me and look away but he wasn't getting up which meant there was no way for me to escape. "You can't what?"

"If we're going to hang out it can't be like this." I tell him referring to the kiss and the fact that he was holding my hand.

Dejectedly he nodded and stood up, allowing me to go out after him. It took a few minutes for the pictures to develop but when they did I was surprised at how great they had come out. The first one of us smiling was adorable. The second one with our funny faces, mine unintentional was actually cute. The third one was…well it looked really romantic and it lead to the fourth one when our lips were joined.

I looked away bashfully as I felt a blush stain my cheeks. I heard him chuckle and hand me the pictures. "Keep them."

"But you paid for them." I told him.

"Exactly, so I decide what to do with them and I want you to keep them." He cracked a big smile that looked a little too forced for my liking. "You want to get home?" He asked me and all I could manage was to nod numbly, still looking at the pictures I held in my hand.

He dropped me off at home and walked me to my door, something I didn't even know guys still did. He left me with a small smile and a kiss on the cheek which much to my embarrassment still managed to make me blush.

I walked into my house completely ignoring every question my mom and my younger sister asked and went straight to my bed. As I lay in my pajamas I realized that the attraction I had towards Naruto, a boy who liked me enough to kiss me, was actually incredibly strong. A boy who I had rejected not even five minutes after.

Grabbing my pillow I threw it against my face and screamed as loud as I could. This was just so fucked up. I wanted to be with him, I wanted to hug him and hold his hand and be his girlfriend. I wanted that more than anything right now but I also knew how unfair it would be for him if he dated me, especially in my current diagnosed state.

But I mean he knows I'm sick right? And I told him my story, I just left out the dying in five months part. I just wanted to have fun, to laugh and enjoy the rest of my time and he seemed to be able to make me do that. Before I rejected him and everything got awkward he was making me smile and laugh and I really liked it.

Christ, I really liked him!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning I woke up with a little bit of a headache and my phone vibrating so much it made my pillow move. Groaning I grabbed my phone and automatically answered.

"Hello?"

"Whoa, you sound like a truck ran you over last night." The person on the other line spoke and I couldn't, for the life of me recognize the voice, at least not while I was still half asleep.

" ." I answered sarcastically and I heard the other person laugh loudly. A warmth spreading through my body as I heard the laughter.

"Okay, I know it's a little early but I was wondering if you wanted to spend the day with me?"

Spend the day with him? What guy would be asking me….oh. Oh my God it's Naruto. That certainly got me up in a frenzy looking at the clock on my bedside table that read 8:00am. I realized he was waiting for an answer. "Oh! Yeah, sounds good." I answer and I couldn't help but sound like a three year old getting ice cream.

"Alright, I'll pick you up in an hour?" He asks and I nod enthusiastically, then feel slightly stupid because he obviously can't see me nodding.

"Sure, I'll be ready."

As soon as he hung up the phone I booked it to my bathroom, surprisingly only feeling slight discomfort in my body. Maybe the new drug would work after all?

I took a quick shower and decided on some white summer shorts and a lilac tank top, my mother once told it me it brought out my eyes and I kind of wanted Naruto to think I was pretty. I wanted him to think I was worth spending time with. I just wanted him to like me, even if I knew it could end up harming us both.

I put my hair in a ponytail, allowing my bangs and a few pieces of my hair to frame my face. Over all I thought I looked good. I ran into my cousin Neji as I exited my room, he looked a little surprised to see me awake and dressed…well like a girl. I normally only wear jeans and a comfortable t-shirt but that's because I don't have anyone to go out with.

"Where are you going?"

"Dunno, Naruto's picking me up." I answer, flying down the stairs to tell my parents I would be out the whole day hanging out with Naruto.

I could tell from the looks on their faces that they weren't thrilled by the idea of me spending an entire day with him but I think they noticed how excited I was for the first time in years so they let me go, making me promise I would be home by ten at night.

It didn't take long for my phone to vibrate, a message from Naruto. He was here. "I'll see you later!" I yelled before exiting my house and walking as gracefully as I could towards his car.

He smiled at me as I climbed in, seemingly haven forgotten my rejection last night. "So, I'm guessing you have plans right?" He nodded and grinned.

"We're spending the day in my house." He pulled the car into drive before I could object. "I know you love horror movies but I also know you have yet to watch some of my favourites!" He feigned hurt.

"And being the awesome guy I am, I got all those movies so we could have a marathon. That is after we eat breakfast."

I got starry eyed as he said the words. He had listened to all our previous phone conversations and he had remembered my love for horror movies though I hadn't watched them in a while since I really just didn't want to do anything while I've been sick these past years.

"That sounds great, I wonder if you'll be the type to act all brave and hold on to a secret stuffed animal." I answer, giggling slightly at the image of Naruto hugging a stuffed bunny. I had to admit, even then he looked cute.

He laughed boisterously. "Well if I am, the only thing I'd hold onto is you." Damn his words came out flawless and sexy. I hated and loved him for turning me on all at once. I shoved him playfully while he pulled up to his driveway.

He literally lived five minutes away from my house, and only walking distance from Sasuke's. I wondered vaguely why I hadn't met him before until I remembered he was off studying abroad. A topic he surprisingly avoided every time I brought it up.

I entered his house and was struck speechless with how welcoming it was. My house was welcoming but it was decorated in a much more modern sense, where his house had tons of colours with inspirational quotes and cute family pictures.

"Hey dad!" Naruto called while we entered his kitchen.

His father looked exactly like Naruto minus the birth marks on his cheeks. They had the same colour of hair and the same mischievous blue eyes, they were even getting to be the same height. His father certainly could not deny that Naruto was his son.

"Hello Naruto." He greeted then turned to me with a smile. "You must be Hinata right?" He asked me. I looked to Naruto only to see him blush slightly.

"Umm, yes sir. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine dear, my name is Minato by the way." He spoke with such softness I deciphered that the only thing his father and Naruto shared in common was their looks. I guess Naruto got most of his personality from his deceased mother.

"Anyways, breakfast is almost ready." Minato spoke pointing to a nearly finished cooked meal. The bacon on a plate caught my attention.

"Umm, is it alright if I skip on the bacon sir? I'm a… ughh, vegetarian." I finished, feeling extremely nervous.

The older blonde chuckled while he looked at me. "Of course, it's not a problem at all."

"Animals just too cute to eat?" I hear Naruto ask from behind me.

"No, I just want to minimize the amount of deaths I'm responsible for." I tell him honestly. It gets kind of quiet for a while until his dad breaks the silence.

"Well that's great! Now come on and sit down."

The three of us eat our breakfast which I have to admit is quite good. "So what're you going to do today?" His father asks us.

Naruto swallows rapidly and smiles at me. "We're having a horror movie marathon." He announces proudly making his father laugh slightly, it seemed like they had a really good father son relationship. "We're going to go down to the basement and watch them."

His father chocked on some of the bread. "No you most certainly will not."

I had to hold in my laughter at the disappointed face Naruto showed. "Awe come on dad, it's way too bright up here, we have to make this a spooky thing." He tried but his father wasn't budging.

"We have some amazing black curtains in the linen closet I will gladly get those for you and you and Hinata are welcomed to have your movie marathon in the living room."

"Fine." Naruto groaned out. "But all the DVDs are downstairs."

"You both can grab them and then you will come back up."

Sighing in acceptance Naruto took both our plates to the kitchen. "Thank you very much for breakfast Minato, could I help you clean up?" I ask him.

"Nonsense! Go enjoy your movies, I'll get those curtains up while you grab the movies." His smile was blinding, a lot like Naruto's.

I nodded and followed Naruto down the stairs. "Jeeze and you were on my ass for being polite to your parents?" He teased me so I pouted. I didn't think that I looked cute but the way he started blushing proved otherwise.

I giggled at his bashfulness. "So this is your room?" I asked taking a look at the semi clean room.

"Yeah." He answered rubbing his neck awkwardly. I thought maybe he had had plenty of girls here before because well he was stunning but maybe I was wrong. "Here they are." He told himself and pulled out a clear box filled with video games and DVDs. "I guess we'll just take the whole thing up stairs."

He carried the box easily and I envied his strength and health so incredibly bad then. I doubted my cancer infested body could carry such a thing up so many stairs. I was having a hard time as it was with the pain my body was making me go through. But today I had taken the nausea pill, I didn't want to puke at all while I was here.

The living room looked really dark actually, the curtains did a great job in keeping the sunlight out and it comforted me. I like the darkness it was producing. Naruto was emptying the box and picking and choosing what order we would watch the movies in. "Oh, I almost forgot." He exclaimed and ran into the kitchen.

He came back out with two bags in his hands. He dropped them on the floor and out spilled bags of chips, popcorn, gummies, chocolates and cookies. He also brought a 2L bottle of Sprite. I gaped at all the food while he just smirked at me. "I figure we can share the pop, do you mind?"

"No!" I exclaim a little too excited at the prospect of sharing something with him. It took him a while to get the order of the movies the way he wanted but when he did we started watching them one by one.

True to his word whenever a scary part came on he held onto me though I knew he was doing it purely for his enjoyment of watching me squeal and blush because he didn't seem scared in the slightest.

The hours seemed to pass by incredibly quickly when I was with him. I almost wished they would be longer just to share more time with him. I knew then, I was falling for him.

By the last movie we were both laughing hysterically. It was one of the really old horror movies with horrible graphics and blood that looked like paint. We ended up sitting on the ground for this one. I really wanted some gummy bears that were on his side of the floor. I thought I would be able to reach them without causing him much issue so I just reached over him instead of asking him to pass them to me.

I had a cookie already in my mouth and I hadn't counted on my arms being too short to reach for them so by the time I grasped my prize I was practically on top of Naruto. My eyes went as large as possible and I lost balance falling unceremoniously on top of him.

So we laid on the floor, me on top of him. My mouth filled with cookies and my hands filled with gummy bears. I was absolutely petrified but Naruto burst out laughing. "I knew you wanted me." He joked while winking but that only managed to worsen my shame.

I swallowed the cookie quickly and turned my head slightly only to notice our faces were really close to each other. "I'm so sorry." I practically yell, the movement causing more of my hair to fall from my ponytail. He only smiled at me and tucked my hair back. I felt exactly the way I did yesterday in the photo booth except this time he saw the fear on my face and pulled back from me. I wanted to scream at my cowardice but instead I got off him, my gummy bears forgotten.

"If you enjoy making fun of these types of movies." I spoke without thinking, I just wanted to cover up for the awkward moment I had created. "There's this really horribly made horror movie that always cheers me up."

His small smile broadens and I feel relief wash over me. "Oh yeah? What's it called?"

"Killer Night." I tell him and he makes a mental note to watch it.

"I'll definitely watch it! Anyways, I should probably get you home."

The drive back was not awkward in the slightest, it was actually filled with laughter as we discussed that vampire movie we had just watched. Like yesterday he got out of the car and walked me to my front door. "I'll see you tomorrow?" He asked and I really wanted to say yes.

"Umm, actually my sister has a soccer tournament the whole weekend so I probably won't see much of anybody except for little kids but I'll give you a call on Monday to see how you liked the movie, okay?"

He looked slightly disappointed but nodded with a small laugh. "Keep me updated on your sister's team." He asked me but I had a small suspicion it was so we could text.

I went to sleep that night a lot easier than the previous one. He made my days seem happier and my nights more peaceful. Could it really be that bad, to fall for him?


	4. More than Friends?

**Author's Note:** Okay, so some people want me to update daily but my best friend seems to think I should do so weekly to keep an element of surprise or something. Although it makes sense to do so I really want this story out sooner rather than later because I'm currently working on two other fics. I've decided to update every other day, though I might slip up occasionally. It seems like an odd way to do things but whatever.

By the way; thank you guys for reviewing so far. It means a great deal to me that you enjoy reading my work! :)

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters.

* * *

Unfortunately I hadn't been able to call Naruto all weekend or the Monday like I had promised. There were slight complications with the medication for pain I was taking and I had to go to the hospital for a couple of days.

Naruto had been really adamant about visiting me in the hospital when I had sent him a message saying I wouldn't be able to call him but I had told him I would be okay and that it wasn't necessary. In reality I just really didn't want him to see me in the hospital again. It was fine when he was just meeting me or getting to know me but now I felt kind of embarrassed to have him see me like this.

I wanted him to maintain the same view of me, see me like the girl who had gone on those dates with him, not a girl who had to go to the hospital every time her body reacted to a drug.

Luckily I was able to go home the Wednesday morning but I waited until early evening to actually call Naruto. I didn't know why I was waiting so long but I did.

I went out into my back porch, making sure I was by myself before I dialed his number. I breathed in slowly, making sure the cheerfulness in my voice wouldn't be perceived as fake. He had a good instinct on what I was actually feeling so I had to make this seem as true as possible.

"Hinata!" He greeted, his excited voice making it easier for me to actually sound happy.

"Hey! So isn't that movie like the worst…" I was cut off by some sudden wailing coming from his side of the phone. "Ugh, are you okay?" I ask uncertainly.

"Oh, I'm great. Sasuke's at my house though and he seems to be in much distress."

"Oh." I say, not knowing what to do. While I was at the hospital I had run into him and he had told me that he was there to make sure they had his surgery ready for next Monday. It seemed the doctors were finally just going to cut the tumor off though it would lead to Sasuke losing his mobility, possibly forever.

"Yeah, hey can you come over? I think you might help." I obviously couldn't deny him that.

"Okay, be there in ten." I tell him before I hung up.

Cautiously I took one of the many cars owned by my parents and slid into the driver seat. It took less than I thought to get to Naruto's house and when I knocked on the door Minato answered with a tired smile. "Oh, hello Hinata. How are you?"

"I'm good Minato, how are you?"

"I've been better." He admits awkwardly rubbing his neck. I'm guessing his discomfort had something to do with the constant yells of anguish coming from the basement. "They're down there, good luck." He said pointing towards the basement.

I smiled at him and headed towards the stairs. Naruto heard me far before he saw me. "Hinata, how nice to see you." He said as I walked fully into the room. Sasuke seemed to be fine up until I saw the constant tears running down his face.

"Hi." I said quietly, I hadn't seen him in days and I felt kind of shy. "Sasuke?" I ask and he turns to me slightly from his position on the bed.

"I'm never going to walk again." He tells me apathetically but his tears contradict the tone he was using.

"There are therapists, Sasuke." I try and comfort him, there would be a chance of him walking. My suggestion only got me more sobs and Naruto answered for him.

"The chances are slim."

"She's never going to be with me now!" Sasuke screamed suddenly. I had no clue who he was talking about, hell I didn't even know Sasuke was interested in anybody.

I looked incredibly out of place, enough to make Naruto chuckle slightly. "Her name's Sakura, she's our childhood friend. She's just recently come back."

There were still a lot of questions to be asked like where had she been while Sasuke had his cancer or where was she now while Sasuke howled. I knew this wasn't the best time to ask so I just kept my mouth shut. Instead I chose to have faith in this girl I didn't know. "I'm sure she won't care."

"That's what I've been telling the bastard but he won't believe me." Naruto said exasperatedly making me smile at him. It was when he looked at me that his smile turned sultry. "You know, you look very nice."

I blushed slightly and wondered how he could compliment me when his friend was having a mental breakdown. "Come on man, let's just play video games and wait until she answers your call." Naruto turned back to Sasuke.

Said guy nodded and sat on the floor, holding the controller way too forcefully in his hands. They played for an hour and a half before Sasuke's phone started ringing rather loudly. I guess it was on the highest volume level so he wouldn't miss that important phone call.

Both guys stopped their games immediately and just stared at the phone. The caller ID read 'Sakura' and underneath was a picture of a really pretty pink haired girl. I could imagine her being with Sasuke. He was extraordinary looking too, even with the cancer.

The phone rang and rang until my annoyance boiled over. "Most people answer…" I say and I caused them both to snap their heads at me. I sigh and pick up his phone.

"Hello?"

"Umm, hi?" The girl on the other end of the line sounded confused. "Is Sasuke there?"

"Certainly, hold on please." I turn to look at Sasuke who looks mortified at what I had just done. I held my hand over the phone so she couldn't hear me talk. "Sasuke, come on. Take the phone." I cooed and finally he grabbed it with his right hand.

"Hey." He spoke lowly and much more calmly than he was when we got there. He gave us a look and went up the stairs, I'm assuming for some privacy.

"Finally!" Naruto exclaimed laying down from his previously sitting position to place his head on my lap. I was startled by his forwardness but I kind of liked it so I simply ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down. I could tell he had been dealing with Sasuke for the whole day so I could understand why he was so stressed out.

I could tell he was surprised by my accepting nature but he let it go and closed his eyes in bliss. It was a few minutes later that he brought a hand up to his hair to stop my movements. He opened his eyes and I looked down at him curiously. He took my right hand in his and intertwined our fingers, laying our joined hands on his chest delicately.

The back of my hand could feel his heart beat speeding up, causing a smile to bloom on my face. I always forgot that he was also just a boy. Naruto seemed so perfect that I thought most girls would be as obsessed with him as I was but from all his reactions to my simple caring gestures I wasn't sure that was true. Still, his romantic gestures only furthered to confuse my already contrite feelings.

"I know you want to keep your distance from me." He spoke lowly, he wasn't looking at me, rather at our hands on his chest. I stopped breathing as soon as he said the words. "I can understand why but I should warn you…" Now he looked at me, his eyes an impossible hue of blue. "I have very strong feelings towards you and you keeping your distance from me in no way lessens my affection for you." He sounded so sure of his words I couldn't look away.

I barely noticed when he got off my lap and sat in front of me, his face only a few centimeters away from my own. I didn't know what to say. He just smiled at me, realizing I had been efficiently stunned by his words. It took me a while to gather my wits. "You don't understand." I start, trying to explain to him how terminal I really am. "I'm not healthy." The words came out tight, my mouth did not want to make way to say them knowing I could lose him. But I knew I had to, I had to tell him everything.

I was ready to do so, I was ready to tell him what a waste of time I would be. He didn't let me though. He took me by surprise, he always took me by surprise. But this, the way his lips suddenly fastened on mine was a huge surprise. Did I mentioned I was surprised?

I didn't even pull back, no my eyes were just abnormally big and my body was frozen in place. He pulled back a few seconds afterwards, grinning from ear to ear. "Thought that might shut you up." The words were a little insulting but he said it without any malice and the same smile on his face.

"I know you have cancer, I do." His eyes were shining with a feeling I could not name. "But the girl that I'm looking at right now is strong. You're strong Hinata, I know you're going to beat it and I want to already be yours when you do." The words were so sweet, I had to physically shut my eyes to stop tears from dropping. "We're  
more than just friends." There was no doubt in his voice, as if I didn't even have to tell him of my feelings for him. He kind of already knew.

"You okay?" I heard him ask me softly, his voice like a melody to my ears.

I opened up my eyes with a real smile on my face. I couldn't deny him. I couldn't deny myself either. I wanted him, I wanted to be with him. And I would be, if he was okay with my cancer I was okay with it too. I wouldn't be afraid of my feelings, I didn't want to be.

I nodded way too enthusiastically before I practically tackled him to the ground. We were in the same position we were in last week except my fear was nowhere to be seen. "I'm strong." I assured him with a big smile, I doubted he had seen that smile on me. I don't think anyone had since I got sick.

We were just about close to kissing but Sasuke took that moment to stomp his way into the basement. Pain clearly visible on his face. "I don't mean to interrupt." He spit out the words as Naruto and I sat up, he came close to us and pushed Naruto to the ground. I just sat there stunned.

"You lied to me…" I was scared at how calm his voice sounded. "YOU FUCKING LIED TO ME!" He shouted directly above Naruto's face and if it weren't for the situation I would be jealous of Sasuke for being so close to him.

"Sasuke, calm down." Naruto spoke with a certain hardness in his voice, effectively calming the raging teen. Huffing Sasuke walked away from us and closer to Naruto's bed, the blonde followed him. Sasuke paced, while Naruto sat on the bed for what had to be twenty minutes before he looked at us.

"She didn't want me." He spoke up, his voice no longer angry. Just sad.

I looked away from him, the pain in his normally elusive eyes was just too much for me to handle. "She told me she couldn't be with me, she couldn't handle being with me. Especially after the surgery happened."

I wanted to cry for him, I really did. He had hoped that people like Naruto still existed. He had thought Sakura was like his best friend, a girl who could overlook his disease and just see him.

"What did she say, exactly?" I ask calmly, seeing as Naruto was struck speechless.

Sasuke's deadly eyes turned to me, his aura darkening slightly. I held my ground though, Sasuke had become a good friend of mine in the hospital and I wanted to help him as much as I could.

"She said and I quote 'I'm so sorry Sasuke but I wouldn't be able to handle the situation you're going to be in as your girlfriend. We can be friends.'" Ouch.

"Her loss." I say simply, my face serious. He walks slowly over to me but I can sense he's not as menacing as he was when he came down here, now he was just heartbroken.

"You think? Because I doubt any girl will want this cancer ridden piece of shit." He pointed at his body and in that moment I wanted to yell my agreement because I knew that feeling so very well.

The feeling that because he and I were so ill we didn't deserve to be loved, especially by people as healthy as Naruto or Sakura. From behind Sasuke I saw Naruto look to the ground in sympathy and I cringed, that wasn't what Sasuke needed.

"I'd take your cancer ridden piece of shit. Trade you?" I tell him with a small smile on my face. This was how Sasuke and I communicated and it seemed to work for us.

I saw him smile slightly and look at the floor. I took a step closer to him making him glance up at me, eyes begging me for comfort. "You won't be able to walk after Monday, perhaps for the rest of your life." I tell him seriously and instead of looking away he only nods for me to continue. "But you'll live Sasuke and you won't have to go to the hospital every week for a check-up. You won't have anyone estimating how long you'll live for and you'll meet people-girls even- that will adore you for who you are."

He swallowed thickly, looking at me through unshed tears. I suddenly found myself engulfed in his arms with him quietly sobbing on my shoulder. He didn't say thank you but I knew he was grateful. I only smiled and held onto him, seeing Naruto smile softly at me from across the room. "Things will be alright." Sasuke speaks and I nod telling him I knew they would be.

Sakura may have broken him but he had friends who could put him back together. I knew Naruto wouldn't rest until Sasuke was okay and I wouldn't either. He…they had both become incredibly important to me. It didn't even matter that he had interrupted one of the most important moments for me with Naruto. I knew where I stood with him in terms of a relationship. If I wanted one he'd give it to me. And from my reaction he knew I did.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The following Monday I woke up with puke rising from my throat causing me to bolt into my bathroom and empty my already empty stomach. I could tell today wasn't going to be a good day. It was still dark outside so I figured it was somewhere in the middle of the night. My head throbbed and my body ached and I just knew none of the pills would help.

Tears leaked out of my eyes as I laid on my bed in a delicate fetal position. I wasn't crying for any particular reason but when your body feels pain the normal neurological reaction is to cry so that's what I was doing. I closed my eyes to seek more rest that almost didn't want to come.

I woke up later in the day, from a text message.

Naruto: Sasuke's out of surgery, he's officially cancer free but yeah you know he can't walk.

I smiled and let myself fall asleep once more. I was glad my mother had that motherly instinct that I had had a bad night because she hadn't woken me up at all the entire day. I sighed and looked at the time, it was nearly three in the afternoon.

I checked my phone only to see a few missed calls from Naruto and some text messages that led to an 'are you okay?' I smiled at how concerned he was so I quickly shot him an 'I'm okay' and headed to take a shower. I wasn't feeling well at all but I knew what I wanted to do that afternoon.

"Mom." I called out to her as I reached the bottom of the stairs. Both my sister and my cousin were at school. I was for once glad I had finished high school homeschooled and wasn't forced to do anything else, especially knowing I would die soon…well hopefully not.

She looked towards me with a gentle smile, it's one of the things I loved most about her. "Oh, you're up honey!"

"Yeah, I was wondering if I could borrow the car."

"For what?"

"Visit Sasuke at the hospital. I know you want to take me but you have to pick up Hanabi and take her to practice so I just thought driving myself would be easier."

"You weren't feeling well all night, are you sure you're up for this?" Her concern wasn't shocking.

"Yes." No.

"Okay, just be safe and be back before dinner."

I nod and grab a set of keys, taking the car I'm most comfortable in. It takes a while to get to the hospital thanks to afternoon traffic but when I get there I feel relieved I know my way around it.

I arrive at the correct floor and knock on the door lightly. Almost immediately Sasuke's mother opens the door with a small, teary smile.

"Oh, Hinata!" She sounds very happy to see me. "I'm glad you're here. Naruto left earlier today but I know Sasuke wants some company."

I beam back at her, I had always liked Mrs. Uchiha. She reminded me a lot of my own mother and Mr. Uchiha was a lot like my own father. Maybe that's why Sasuke and I understood each other so well.

I walked inside the room, just as his mother walked out. She was trying to hold back her tears so I think that's why she appreciated my presence so much. She needed to leave the room so she wouldn't cry in front of her now paralyzed son.

"Is she gone?" I hear Sasuke speak even though his eyes are closed.

"Yeah."

"Good, I think I pretended to be asleep for like two hours. She really needs to get her shit together." He sighs and sits up slightly on the bed. He seems a little pale but he looks much better than he had previously looked.

"How are you?"

"Disabled." He says and I laugh slightly. "Glad my discomfort amuses you." He says with a big smirk on his face.

I shake my head at his dry sense of humor. "When do you get to go home?"

"Couple days, surprisingly." That was weird, I thought he would need to stay more time but I'm glad he can go home so soon.

"Naruto came by earlier." He mentions and I nod, telling him I already knew. "You guys are together right?"

I freeze, not certain of the answer. I mean we hadn't really defined the relationship, we'd just kissed a couple times. "Not sure, it's complicated."

He nods and the subject is dropped but I'm sure not for good. He loves Naruto even if he doesn't want to admit it so I know he's going to question me about him later.

We speak for a couple hours before I have to go home, per my mother's orders to have dinner like a normal family. He looks slightly upset that I'm leaving but he knows I'm going to come by his house unwelcomed when he gets home. Because that weird annoying type of friendship is the friendship I've developed with him and he's developed with me. I could honestly say Sasuke had become a best friend.


	5. Too Much To Handle

**Author's Note:** Fair warning, this chapter is super long and extremely loaded. I thought about splitting it up but the flow works for me. As I mentioned in the first chapter this is a SHORT multi chapter fic so it will end around chapter 11 or 12, something like that. Enjoy!

Anything in Italics is a memory Hinata is having!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters.

* * *

Naruto and I sat on his hammock, it was mid-September and the weather still felt like summer. We were joking around, trying to throw popcorn into each other's mouths. He was strangely good at the game while I was astonishingly bad. He kept laughing at my failing attempts at capturing the treats until he had finally had enough and simply fed me the popcorn instead.

I gave him a look that he answered with his foxy grin. "You've barely eaten any." He said by way of explanation, breathing deeply. The motion caught my eye and it wondered down his body. Today Naruto wore black, semi baggy knee shorts and a fairly tight orange t-shirt that made his blue eyes and blonde hair stand out.

He caught me staring and cheekily winked at me. I blushed in utter embarrassment and looked away from him. He turned my face back to his and chastely kissed me on the lips. "Why are you blushing?" He asks while his thumb glides over my reddening cheek. "I'm your boyfriend, I think you're supposed to check me out. I mean I do it all the time with you." His words only served to make my face blare red and I can tell from the blush on his cheeks that he hadn't meant to confess that part.

I manage a weak laugh to relax him slightly. His body releases the tenseness and I snuggle comfortably into his chest. The fear I had to be close with him months ago had all but disappeared, now I longed for his presence near me. I wanted to be with him all the time and I could tell he felt the same way.

We were comfortable with each other but not in a way friends were. It was so different with him, I was comfortable but at the same time I wanted to be glued to him like a second skin. I know most people thought he was more invested in our relationship since he had liked me first and because he had done everything possible to make me like him but they were wrong.

I was pretty much clay in his hands. I would be anyone he wanted me to be as long as I could. I would fight everything he wanted me to fight, even this deadly cancer.

"What're you thinking about?" He asks, snapping me from my thoughts.

"Cancer." I say without thinking.

I feel him shift slightly and I can feel his eyes on me. I don't want to look up in fear of seeing pity. "What about cancer?"

"How am I supposed to win?" I ask rhetorically, I know he won't have an answer. "I mean the cancer is me Naruto, it's a part of me. How do I fight myself?" I keep firing questions I know he can't answer but I was getting desperate for answers.

I feel myself shake slightly and I know he can feel it too. "Hinata." He calls my name out softly and I lift my head off his shoulder to look at him. "The cancer may be a part of you but it will not consume you."

"How do you know?" I ask, letting my tears soak up his shirt. I was so insecure, I was scared.

"Because I know you." He answers and wipes some of my stray tears. "You'll fight and you won't give up. There's no way in hell a cancer will beat you." He tells me with a grin.

I have to smile slightly and nod my head in agreement. "You're right, thanks Naruto." I push myself up slightly and kiss his cheek. The one innocent kiss leads him to kiss me again but this time on the lips.

He rearranges my position so I'm straddling his lap, a much better position for access to him. My hands wrap around his neck and his fall onto my hips, pushing me as close to him as possible. It felt like we were molding into one person.

His tongue darts out quickly and licks along my lower lip. I automatically open my mouth in compliance and he enters enthusiastically. It almost made me laugh how much Naruto's kisses reminded me of him as a person. He groaned slightly when my fingertips entangled in his hair and I couldn't help but moan when his hands touched my bare back, under my shirt.

I was losing control of myself around him, he was making me think crazy thoughts that I shouldn't be thinking. Especially because I had only really known him for some months. He pulled back slightly to look at me "Hinata, I'm falling in…" His voice was rough, he was still trying to catch his breath.

"Hey! Dinner is ready!" I heard someone say and I snap my head away from his to look at the back door only to see my very young sister standing there, staring at us in this position. My face loses all colour and Naruto blanches too.

"Hanabi! Yeah, okay dinner, got it." I rush the words and get off Naruto, following my sister inside.

"Why are you two so flustered?" My mother questions my red face and Naruto's equally red face beside me.

I shake my head telling her nothing had happened and took a seat beside Neji, assuming Naruto would sit on my other side.

I can feel Naruto stare at me with a smile and I have to hide my face to keep my parents from seeing my smile. We shared a secret no one else knew and I wanted to keep it that way. Half way through our meal Naruto dangled a slice of meat in front of my face so I turned to him with a pout.

His fork dropped immediately and normally tanned cheeks gained some colour. "Don't look at me like that." He whispered.

I could tell my mother had heard though because she giggled soundly, catching everyone's attention. "You two are very adorable." She states proudly and I look down to avoid all their knowing faces, though I can feel some menacing aura radiating from my cousin.

"Mom!" I hissed embarrassedly.

"What?" She feigns innocence. "You are, you look like two cute little puppies." I swear my mother made everything worse.

Naruto laughed good naturedly while I glared my mother into oblivion. I felt Naruto's lips on my cheeks and my face gained a bit of colour. "I don't know about me but yeah, she's super adorable and she stole my heart."

Crap. I was blushing.

Thankfully dinner went by without much issue and weirdly enough Sasuke came over with his family. The three of us stood, or sat in Naruto's living room filled with boredom. I knew what I wanted to do but I obviously couldn't do that with Sasuke around.

"Hey man." Naruto spoke to Sasuke. "Has Sakura called yet?" He nodded his head slowly and I had to bite my tongue from lashing out at him, he was so stupid and stubborn sometimes.

"And?" Naruto prodded.

"I don't take her calls."

Breathing out in disappointment Naruto looked to me for help but I could only shrug. "I already tried."

"Okay." He looked back to Sasuke. "Why don't you want to take her calls?"

"Are you dumb? She rejected me."

"She was scared." I add in, a small plea for him to understand that no one is perfect and the fact that she was able to go back to him and admit her mistake took courage and strength and most of all love.

"And I wasn't?!" He said rather loudly causing our parents to look at us weirdly.

"Ugh, bastard." Naruto muttered under his breath. "Come on." He bid to us and I obediently followed and even though Sasuke hesitated he started wheeling in behind us. "This probably isn't a conversation to have in front of our parents."

"We'll be back." He calls out to all of our parents and we exit his house. Easily Sasuke climbs in the back while we put the chair in the trunk. I climb into the passenger seat and Naruto gets in the driver's seat.

"Where are we going?" I ask, wherever we were going it wouldn't be good.

"I'm going to drive while you repeatedly slap Sasuke in the face and then hopefully sense will literally enter him through your slaps."

"Ugh, sure?" I say. Immediately gaining a dirty look from Sasuke.

"This has nothing to do with you two." He spit out, looking out the window at the darkening sky. I could tell he was sad and lonely and the only person who could help him was Sakura, too bad he was so damn unforgiving.

"It does." Naruto interrupted, his voice had an underlying tone of steel. "She loves you. She always has and just because she made a mistake doesn't mean you get to be an asshole to her the rest of your life." The tone he was using caused Sasuke to whip his head to the front, his mouth agape.

"Stop hating everyone and let someone in for once you goddamn bastard."

"Hn." Sasuke responded, going back to gazing out the window.

Neither Sasuke nor I knew where we were going but the blonde seated beside me seemed to know exactly where he wanted to arrive. He pulls the car into parking position and pulls Sasuke's chair out. I see Sasuke pale slightly but I don't know why.

"Sakura's?" He chokes out the word as Naruto opens his door.

"Yup!" The blonde pulls his best friend onto the chair with ease.

"But…" I saw the black haired boy struggle against Naruto's grip but it was no use, Naruto was healthy and strong.

"No, she deserves this." He retaliated. Under my breath I added a "And so do you." Towards Sasuke that apparently both heard since I got glared at by him and I got a grin from my boyfriend.

Naruto rang the doorbell a few times and hurriedly the door opened to reveal a very surprised yet happy Sakura. At least she was happy when she caught sight of Sasuke who stood between Naruto and I but a little further back. "Hi, Naruto, Sasuke and…" She looks at me.

"Hinata." I tell her and she nods her head.

"What're you doing here?" She questions, stepping out slightly.

"We were wondering if you wanted to hang out with us, Sasuke really wants you to." Naruto answers with a smile and I have to swallow uncomfortably from his lie.

From the corner of my eye I see Sasuke try and wheel himself away from us but Naruto's left foot stops him easily. Sighing in acceptance Sasuke turns back to the pink haired girl who was practically tearing up. I wondered how Sasuke could be such an asshole, the girl was obviously sorry.

"I-is that true?" She asks nervously, only looking at Sasuke.

"Yes." He answers her, no hint of the nervous boy who I had seen only a few minutes ago.

Her face brightens and the tears vanish immediately. I sigh in relief that Sasuke had not rejected her, though I spoke too early to actually know what I was talking about.

"Oh." Sasuke speaks up catching all of our attention, I hold my breath seeing such a wicked smile on his normally stoic face. "I forgot you didn't want to be with me, you know with my condition and everything." His voice sounded innocent but we could all see the malice on his face.

I saw Sakura tense dramatically and breathe in and out slowly. It almost looked like she thought she deserved what Sasuke was saying to her. "We wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable Sakura." Sasuke's voice was cold again. "Because the only feelings that ever mattered were yours."

With those being his last words Sasuke wheeled himself back to the car leaving the three of us in such an awkward silence I could practically choke and it would still make things better.

"Sakura." Naruto called out, a softness to his voice I hadn't heard him use except around me. I fidgeted slightly when I heard it. I didn't want to feel jealous but the thought of Naruto and Sakura being together was logical, more logical than him wasting his time with me.

I saw him step closer to her and hug her tightly, I looked away. Towards Sasuke who waited outside the car, looking at the ongoing seen with burning, almost red eyes. "He's just hurt, he'll get over it." Naruto speaks to her again and the conversation seems to be getting a little too intimate for my presence so I take a cautious step back. It kinda stings that Naruto doesn't ask me to come back but I understood this conversation was to be held between childhood friends.

Turning my back to them I walked back to Sasuke who seethed while he looked at Naruto. We stood there for a whole minute, enveloped in silence where I was sure Sasuke pictured Naruto's head magically exploding.

"If you ever develop those powers let me know, I'd like to use you." I tease him and although it was unconventional it finally makes him look away from the two still talking on the doorstep.

"How are you okay with this?" He asks me despite not being able to look at me.

I shrug indifferently but it hurts me too. I was never one to have confidence and I never thought Naruto belonged with me to start with so it was really worrisome. Seeing him so close to someone I did not truly know. "She's in love with you, not him."

"Still…" He spoke up. "I mean he did have a crush on her all throughout elementary, I always thought it wouldn't die down." He chuckled slightly. "You know how persistent he is." He kept laughing but I saw no amusement in the matter.

"Oh." I state curiously, trying to downplay my interest in this matter. "So he liked her but she liked you?"

Sasuke nodded in confirmation and my stomach dropped. I suddenly didn't want to like Naruto as much as I did, not with the gut wrenching feeling that he had settled because Sakura had not paid attention to him. Who would've thought there were more painful things than cancer?

Sasuke noticed my dampened mood and nudged me slightly. Seemingly having realized his mistake. "He's over it." He assures me but I'm really not so sure.

It takes Naruto another ten minutes before he walks back towards us, his face set in a frown. "She didn't deserve that." He speaks to Sasuke with a sullen tone, I look away knowing this conversation isn't for my ears either.

"And I deserved being rejected for having cancer?" Sasuke retaliates, I see no hint of amusement on his face or hear it in his tone.

"No." Naruto answers and he looks at me slightly, I look up and then away immediately. Why is he looking at me anyways, this has nothing to do with me. "But she just wants a chance to explain. She doesn't expect you to forgive her you know but if you listen to her you just might." There was a certain confidence in his tone.

"Just help me get in the fucking car." Sasuke spits out but I can see it, the regret that lives behind his dark eyes.

Sighing my blonde boyfriend lifted him up with ease and quite literally shoved him inside and the black haired boy grumbled. Naruto looked to me expectantly though I did not know what he was expecting of me so I just nodded and entered the passenger seat quickly. I didn't know why I was feeling so uncomfortable.

The drive back was just plain awkward. No one talked, and every time I felt Naruto's eyes on me I looked out the window, I did not want eye contact. Each time I did so Sasuke sighed out loud as if he knew the cause of my discomfort which I'm pretty sure he did.

We entered Naruto's house and I immediately went to search for my parents, thinking it was time to go home. I looked back slightly to see Naruto stop Sasuke and ask him something while Sasuke paled but I just ignored them and entered the cozy kitchen.

Surprisingly my father and Minato were baking. Like seriously baking. My father, the owner of a billion dollar industry was baking cupcakes and what was even weirder was he was doing it with a smile on his face, a smile!

"Umm, hello?" I ask, making sure I had entered the correct house.

"Hey hina!" My little sister bellowed, she was grasping her phone tightly. I assumed she was taking pictures of this odd moment.

I slid in next to my mom who was having a private conversation with Neji. "I don't mean to interrupt." I start lowly. "But I'm not feeling well, could I borrow your car to go home Neji?" I ask with a pleading look. We had taken two cars to Naruto's house.

My mother eyed me wearily but I smiled reassuringly. "I promise I'm okay, just a little tired. Probably the drugs. I can see you guys are having a good time though and I'd rather you stay."

She smiled softly at me but she knew it wasn't her choice to lend me his car so I looked up at my cousin with big, wide eyes. He grumbled and pulled out the keys from his pocket. "Don't wreck it." He warned with a smile on his face. The very first time I used his car I used it to speed through the highway, since he owned a convertible the wind I got while driving gave me some sort of freedom. Unfortunately he had been in the car while I was speeding and disapproved greatly.

I winked at him and got up from my seat, waving a short goodbye to my father that I highly doubt he noticed. I hoped I wouldn't have to see Naruto or Sasuke, tonight had been awkward enough and I really didn't want to talk with either of them.

I tiptoed my way to the front, almost home free before someone cleared their throats behind me. I turned around slowly to come face to face with a sulking Uchiha.

"Hey Sasuke!" I chirp excitedly. "Wish I could talk but I gotta get home, you know things to do." I lie with a smile on my face. Why was I avoiding them?

"Save it." He speaks and I cringe at his tone, he almost sounded like my father. I saw Naruto walking in the hallways upstairs and debated my options, stay here or make a break for it to Neji's car. I mean Sasuke would have a hard time following me and Naruto still had to get down stairs.

Sighing I knew I couldn't run away, it would be stupid to try and kind of insulting to the both of them. In slow motion I saw Naruto walk patiently down the stairs and stop in front of me. "You leaving?" He asked, I couldn't help but notice the disappointment in his voice.

"Yeah." I nod slightly. "I'm tired, I should get some sleep." It was true, half true at least.

He looks at me for a really long time without talking, I didn't even think he was breathing. He looked at Sasuke who immediately looked away in guilt. I wondered what they had talked about but I simply shrugged it off, now I really did want to sleep. I was tired of thinking, thinking about wanting to be with Naruto, thinking about Sakura and Sasuke or was it Sakura and Naruto….ugh! I didn't know.

I shake my head slightly to clear my head and take a cautious step backwards towards his front door. "Wait!" He yells and grabs my arm. "Can I at least walk you to the car?"

"Sure."

We walk in silence until I get within reaching distance of the door handle. "Sasuke's an idiot." He tells me suddenly. I didn't really know where he was going with this. He sighs, frustrated with me. Or was it himself? I didn't know, he wasn't looking at me.

"I don't like her, haven't for a long time." His words only further to confuse my already throbbing head.

"Naruto." I sigh out. I just really wanted to go home, I wasn't feeling well and it wasn't just nervousness or weariness. There was a storm coming, a storm my body was probably not prepared to fight so I knew I had to sleep because sleep fights cancer…

"Sakura, I'm talking about Sakura. Sasuke told me what he told you. Why you were acting awkward on the way back."

I flinch and stare towards his house. I see Sasuke lamely spying on us from his living room window. "It's fine you're friends."

"Exactly, we're just friends."

I nod my head. I did believe him, I really did but I felt like puking and my head was spinning. My chest ached and I knew I had to get home fast. I had a check-up at the hospital tomorrow, hopefully these were just nerves.

"Look, when I went abroad I figured out a lot of things about myself. I know what I want…who I want. I want you. I want to be with you and I'm sorry but not even you're going to stand in my way." His words start out aggressive but by the last part he gains a big grin on his face.

He was right, I didn't have to worry about it. I knew Naruto too, he was stubborn and persistent and he was always sure of his decisions. If he wanted to spend time with me it was because he wanted to, because he liked me and I had no reason to doubt that. He had never given me a reason to doubt it.

I smile serenely at him. "I'm with you." I tell him, making his eyes brighten significantly. He takes a step closer to me, making me dizzier than I already feel.

"You want to be with me too?" He asks, so uncertain it breaks my heart he ever had a doubt.

"I do." I place a calming hand on his cheek. "I'm yours okay? I'm just tired." I fall slightly, my head resting on his chest.

He wraps his arms around my body protectively, making me lean more into his body. Our heights line up perfectly. My head fits snug against his heart and it soothes me more than any drug in the world ever could. We stand in that position for what seem to be hours but really are only minutes.

"You're mine huh?" He says and pulls me back to smile lovingly at me. I love this smile, this smile was mine. It was meant for me and it always would be.

I nod my head and he places his forehead gently against mine. "I guess that makes me yours too." His voice is husky and oh so sexy.

"Only if you want to be." I tell him, giving him yet another option to leave. He doesn't take it.

He nods his head with our foreheads still touching making mine nod slightly. "I want." It's the last thing I hear before his lips cover mine in a long and sweet kiss. The only reason we pull apart is because Sasuke is banging on the window with a dissatisfied look on his face.

"I should get home." I speak softly, not wanting to wreck this amazing moment with him.

"I'll drive you." I look up and frown. It wasn't necessary and I knew he didn't really like to drive. "No buts." He tells me seriously and runs back to the house, taking Neji's keys with him.

He runs back out only a minute later but stops to breathe rather harshly. "Naruto?" I ask as I approach him.

"Shit, I should go to the gym." He berates himself and looks over to me with a smile. I have to smile back at him, his smile is infectious.

"You're already too hot." I speak in my mind but when he grins devilishly at me I realize I had spoken the words aloud. My eyes widen in embarrassment and he barks out a laugh.

"Come on." He takes my arms and guides me over to his car, opening the door for me since I'm too stunned to do so on my own.

We get to my house in less than ten minutes and Naruto refuses to leave me alone. He tells me he would stay until my parents get home and even if I am slightly afraid of being left alone with him I agree. I didn't want to be left alone anyways.

He literally sits on the edge of my bed while I lay down. His eyes shining with an emotion I cannot name but I know it goes far beyond friendship. I smile up at him, my eyes shining with happiness that he had stayed with me.

He looks at me and chuckles lowly. "I don't think you're going to fall asleep with your eyes open."

"I can try." I tell him, an unusually big smile on my face. "I just really want to fall asleep with your face being the last thing I see." I say the words without thinking.

He's blushing. I made him blush.

That brings an even bigger smile to my face and I giggle at his reddening cheeks. It's cute, his blush starts at the tip of his nose and spreads like wildfire until it reaches his ears. He shakes his head and the look on his face says 'I can't believe I just blushed' and I have to laugh again.

"You think that's funny?" He feigns hurt. "Well what about this?" He yells out before he starts poking me in the rib, it doesn't hurt but it does cause laughter to bubble from within my throat. I don't remember being so ticklish.

"S-stop!" I stutter out between laughs, his hands halt.

"I'm going to need a good reason why." His voice is smug.

I lean up rapidly and kiss him on the mouth. I can feel him smirk against my lips. "Better than I expected." He says when we pull back, breathless.

He lays my head back down while his fingers play with a few strands of my hair. It's so relaxing and my eyes close automatically. Still, I couldn't quite fall asleep. I think he notices because his ministrations stop and he ruffles around in my night stand. I crack one eye open to see him holding a book, my favourite book. The one I read and reread all the time.

"Poetry." He looks at me and I pretend to be asleep but I know he's caught me when I feel his thumb on my lips. I don't hear anything for a few minutes, just turning of the pages and I'm tempted to open my eyes again but his voice stops me.

"Love is blankets full of strange delights, Love is walking holding pain stained hands, Love is prison and love is free" He was reading my favourite poem. There's hundreds of poems, how did he choose my favourite? "Love is you and love is me."

I smiled, peacefully while my head lulled itself into a deep sleep. His hand goes back to caressing my hair and I know, the poem he chose makes sense for us. Because I am sick. And he is not.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I woke up in the middle of the night, unconsciously clutching my chest. It burned, like someone had set fire to my lungs. I could barely breathe, I couldn't even manage a scream to wake up my parents. My arms flailed wildly until they reached for the lamp and I threw it as hard as I could against the wall. I hoped it was loud enough to gain my parents attention.

It only took them a matter of seconds to get to my room and see me squirming on the bed, not being able to breathe properly. Immediately my mother was at my side calming my nerves and rubbing my back comfortingly. My older cousin carried me bridal style as my father and my sister got the car ready.

All I could think about was the searing pain that was erupting throughout my whole body. I couldn't even blink without feeling pain. It took longer than I would have liked to get to the emergency room, too long. By the time my mother told me we were there I was already losing consciousness, until suddenly and finally I closed my eyes.

I woke up God knows when but I could tell I was in the hospital. I was attached to an IV so I was assuming I was out for some time. A light-brown haired nurse walked into the room with a big smile on her face, I almost wanted to rip it off. She was pretty, pretty and healthy.

"Hello, Hinata." She chirped cheerfully and I force a smile out.

"H-how long have I been asleep?" I ask, my throat dry as hell.

She notices and hands me some water to drink which I am very thankful for. "A few days." She says with a frown on her face, I decide I was stupid for ever being jealous of her for being healthy and that she looks way better with a smile.

"You didn't miss much. You know, politicians being assholes, famous people getting arrested." She laughs slightly and I laugh with her. I'm glad I got a good nurse today.

"Where am I?"

"Your normal hospital in the ICU though, that little episode you had made everyone worry." I cringe thinking about how my family must be feeling. "No worries, we had told your family you would be fine and your boyfriend too. He looked super upset." She tells me and I blush lightly thinking of an upset Naruto.

We don't have much time to talk so she leaves me and I fall back into a deep sleep, I can't explain why I'm so tired but I am. I wake up to some light rattling of my arm. I groan in discomfort and slight pain, did this person not know I was dying?

Cracking my eyes open I came into contact with sky blue eyes, they weren't the same shade I remembered last. Naruto's eyes were darker, as if he had grown up in the time I had been entered to the hospital…again. Still I couldn't get the image of Naruto reading that poem and caressing my hair out of my mind, it had only happened last week. Well I assumed it was last week, I didn't really have a definition of time when I spent it in the ICU, especially not with me sleeping three quarters of the day.

"Hinata?" He asks to make sure I'm awake. I know why he's whispering, no one aside from family is allowed in the ICU sector so he shouldn't be here.

"Yeah?" I whisper back groggily, I didn't want to look at him. He looked worn out, as if he had been rethinking his entire existence.

I heard him mumble something but I didn't catch what he said. "Please." I heard him say quietly. What? What the hell is he talking about? My mind was too jumbled with everything that had happened to understand what he was saying.

"I should've told you. I'm such an idiot, I've known since the minute..." He trailed off still talking, only confusing me more.

"Naruto, if you don't get to your point soon I'm going to pass out." My words seem to frighten him and he got very close to my face, his hand resting on my forehead.

"Why are you so hot?!" He yelled making me laugh slightly at the double meaning behind his words. Seemingly embarrassed he sat back down on his seat. "Sorry. The doctors told me you were alright but I didn't know if I believed them." His voice was slightly pained, I hated causing him so much pain.

"I'm fine." I tell him moving his hand onto my cheek before taking it away from me, I didn't want to be attached to him anymore. Why was that?

_Because he needs someone healthy and perfect for him. Not you that's deteriorating, because he deserves someone who he can spend the rest of his life with._ A little piece of my mind told me and I flinched noticeably. But I could be healthy too!

"N-naruto, I'm really tired. Can y-you l-leave?" I stutter out so many of the words I knew he would know I was lying. Though I was tired I didn't really want him to leave.

"No." He said seriously making my previously closed eyes snap up to meet his. "I don't want to leave you, I never want to leave you."

"O-okay." My voice sounds weak.

Before I'm able to fully close my eyes he presses his forehead against mine. "Why can't you see yourself how I see you? Why can't you see how much you mean to me?" His voice, I could hear the honesty I really could and I tried to smile but my eyes felt heavy and my breathing was deepening. The drugs were making me so tired, the cancer making me sleepy. Maybe all this was a dream. I know he had said something else but I was long lost to the world to hear.

I don't know how long I sleep for but the next time I wake up it's to see my regular doctor checking my vitals. Her face is serious, like always.

"Good morning sunshine." She jokes but I do not have the energy to laugh.

"You're fine, it was just a side effect of the treatment. We can handle it by giving you another pill." Another pill. Fuck.

"Okay." I rasp out, not in the mood for a conversation. My mind was a total blank and I was sure the Naruto scene last time I had been awake was a dream.

"You'll be out of here in a few days." She tells me but I stopped listening to her. All I can think about is taking yet another pill. I close my eyes and focus on nothing in particular. I knew that it was never just 'another pill'. That pill would have side effects that could just as easily lead me back to the hospital.

I wasn't getting any better. I was never going to be healthy.

My thoughts wondered to a time nearly a month ago. I was at Sasuke's house a week after he had gotten home from his surgery.

_We sat in his living room playing video games, which I was terrible at. He looked uncomfortable not being able to move around a lot and he kept eyeing his wheelchair distastefully. _

"_It's not going to magically combust. You're not an X-men." I tease._

_He looks at me sideways with a small smirk. "Don't you think we should be?" He asks and I seriously want to think he's kidding but he looks serious._

"_Do I think we should be mutants?" I ask slowly._

_He nods. "Yeah, like our DNA mutated or whatever, it's why we have cancer. Our bodies are just failed mutations." He tells me like this is the greatest fact in the world._

"_So we're failed X-men?" I ask, an amused glint in my pale eyes. _

"_Shut up." He tells me before smacking my face with his pillow._

_We play for a bit more before my mouth opens to ask a question I knew I shouldn't have asked. "Has Sakura visited?"_

_He tenses and looks intently at the screen. "Yes, but I never answer the door or her calls." He tells me, voice filled with suffering. He almost sounded wounded. _

"_Why?" I ask not even thinking about the word. _

"_She's the one who didn't want me." He says simply._

"_Sasuke, did she say she was sorry?"_

"_Yes and that she loved me and wanted to be with me." He tells me as if it wasn't a big deal but I could see it was for him. _

"_And that's not what you wanted?" I asked impressed the girl had said those things to the ever sulking Sasuke._

"_It's too late."_

"_God Sasuke! Why are you like this? I know it sucks to have cancer I do, I feel it too but you can't live like this. You can't live in fear that someone is going to hurt you because it will hurt even worse if you do. Stop being so stubborn." I yell out irritated gaining an unnoticeable angry blush._

"_It hurt Hinata, she hurt me. And what's worse is she used my cancer as an excuse. I can't just forget." He sounded a lot softer than I thought possible._

"_I'm not asking you to forget. Just forgive." He turned back to the screen, carefully mulling over my words._

"_Anyway, about Naruto…" He comments turning to look at me while he paused our game. _

_I cursed inwardly. I knew this conversation wasn't over at the hospital. "What about him?" I ask, sighing. _

_He laughs shortly and speaks up. "He really likes you and you like him. I walked in on you guys kissing but you're not together?" He asks and I feel ridiculous. _

_It was true, everything he had said was a fact. "It's just that we hadn't had time to solidify the relationship." I say, not even sure I believe my own words. I had only recently accepted my feelings for him so I knew why he would be hesitant to actually talk about our relationship._

"_It's more you than him right?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You're the one who has issues defining what he means to you, you're scared. You're scared he'll be like Sakura."_

_I shake my head. "Not quite." I think hard for a second. "I mean yeah. He knows I have cancer." I say but we both know I want to say more._

"_But…" He prods and I feel my restraint fading. I need to tell someone what an awful person I am. I need someone to know that I won't be around for a long time and Sasuke was a good candidate at this point. I knew he was as much my friend as Naruto's._

"_But I'm sicker than he thinks. Sicker than you all think." I say, staring intently at my lap. My faded jeans and dark purple hoodie don't seem big enough to hide under._

_I can feel Sasuke's calculating eyes on me and it takes him a full minute to speak. "How sick are you?" His voice sounds panicked and I look up to see his eyebrows scrunching in worry._

"_They told me I had five months to live." I tell him and the breath leaves him immediately. "More than two months ago." I finish and this time I hear him take in a harsh breath. He didn't respond for a really long time. _

"_I-I thought you were on a treatment." The stutter in his voice sends guilt through me._

"_I am, but if it fails…I die." _

"_Shit." He mutters lowly, turning away from me. I can tell from the look on his face that he wants to stand up and pace around the room but he's frustrated because he can't. He settles for clenching and unclenching his fists continuously. "What do you think?"_

"_I don't know." I answer honestly. "I've always just kind of wanted to die…but since I met Naruto I've had more energy to fight. I feel okay."_

_He smiles. "So it's working?" I didn't want to say yes but I didn't want to say no, I wasn't sure what my body was trying to tell me at this point._

"_I hope so." I say instead with a smile. _

"_You have to tell him you know." He speaks and grabs my hand in a comforting attempt. _

"_I know." My voice sounds too small to be mine. _

A few days later Naruto had officially started calling me his girlfriend and that's where we stood today. Sasuke knew my secret and Naruto did not.

I look down at my shaking hands, vaguely aware I'm by myself in the room again. I breathe in and out slowly and patiently, willing myself no to burst into tears. I had seen what I was coughing out the night they took me to ICU.

It was blood, thick and red blood.

I wasn't getting any better. I had deluded myself with false hope because I wanted more time to spend with Naruto. I had deluded myself into thinking so because I was trying to find an excuse not to have to tell Naruto I would die.

But now I knew the truth, my body was telling me loud and clear. My fate was set in the stars and my fate was death.


	6. My Darkest Confession

**Author's Note:** This chapter was a little difficult to write but I'm satisfied with it so I hope you all enjoy it! May I just remind you that you guys are awesome and your reviews are great, thank you for supporting my work!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters.

* * *

I loved Saturday mornings, especially this Saturday since I was actually at home and the weather was neither too cold nor too hot. I hadn't been doing well these past weeks in regards with my health. The new drug they had been making me take made me pretty emotional and that was the last thing I needed at this point in my sickness. Especially when I had to remain strong.

Then again maybe it had nothing to do with the new drug. It wasn't a side effect of the pill or of any of the pills I'm taking. It wasn't even a side effect of the treatment or the cancer they so desperately want to cure. This emotional trauma is not just a side effect, it's a way of life. It's my way of life because I'm dying. Dying makes me emotional, I think that should be self-explanatory.

Other than that today was still a perfect late October morning in my opinion and I sat on my back porch enjoying every bit of it. The different coloured leaves danced around me in rhythm and I could breathe in the crisp air. It felt great to be alive in that instant until my chest started aching, reminding me I had little time left to enjoy it.

Gritting my teeth I looked around my backyard. Since my family had money our house was rather spectacular. We had a pool equipped with a diving board and a slide. Something I enjoyed up until I was eight. Then everything just turned to shit. It had been over a month since my episode that led me to the ICU and I still hadn't told Naruto. It's not that I hadn't wanted to, even though the truth was I didn't want to, but he simply wouldn't hear it.

Each time I began speaking about the time I spent in ICU he would produce a small glare and then grin broadly. He would wave a hand off and tell me he knew I was just a little stressed and that the doctors had it controlled with another pill. He had such blind faith in my ability to gain health that I simply couldn't get the words out. It made me feel incredibly guilty but at the same time I enjoyed so much, the time we were able to spend together without him knowing he was dating a walking corpse.

It didn't help every time Naruto asked me how I was I kept answering stronger even though it was a lie. Everything I said to him now a days was a lie. Shaking my head lightly I look out into the horizon to clear my head.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to come face to face with my older cousin Neji. He was more like a brother considering he lived with us. He took a tentative seat beside me, almost as if I would magically combust if he wasn't careful around me.

"Hey Neji." I greeted him with a tired smile.

"Hina." He answered back, the nickname sounded weird coming from such a stoic voice but I let it slide, it was only who he was. "I love you, little sister." He confessed making me turn my head to look at him in confusion.

"I know I don't say it enough but I do, I love you very much. And when I become a doctor I'll help everyone who's as brave as you are."

His words were touching, really they were but they just made me feel even worse. "You sound like a cheesy rom-com. Maybe you should save those words for TenTen." I tell him winking slightly, my cousin was head over heels in love with his girl and I wished I would live long enough to see them get married and have children but I knew that was nothing but a wish.

He chuckled dryly at my lame joke and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. If anyone had to ask me this would probably be my favourite moment with him since I was born. It may not seem like much to other people but sitting in silence, absorbing his strength gave me some sort of hope.

We stayed like that for hours until his phone went off, probably TenTen. He merely excused himself and walked inside, leaving me to my disrupted thoughts once again. I was glad my phone vibrated from beside me, it gave me yet another excuse to keep my morbid thoughts away.

I looked at the caller ID and felt a smile tug its way onto my face. "Hey Naruto!" I chirp excitedly. I had seen him only yesterday but I felt lost without hearing his voice or seeing his face.

"Hello Hinata." He answers just as enthusiastically making me giggle slightly, I really really liked him. "What're you doing right now?" He inquired.

"Nothing really, sitting out in my backyard. Autumn is my favourite season." I tell him, the leaves once again picking up as the wind did. It made me feel nostalgic and slightly sad. I was talking incredibly fast, hoping he wouldn't hear my voice quaver. I seemed to get away with it.

He chuckled slightly over the phone catching my attention. "So, it's safe to assume you're not busy and I can come over and hang out with you?" He asked hopeful, the way he still got nervous before asking to hang out with me had my heart bursting, I would never be tired of it.

"Sure, you can come over if you'd like!"

"Awesome, I think my dad is coming too. He and your dad are going to do something dad like, I didn't bother learning the boring details." He told me and I could practically feel him rolling his eyes.

I only nodded before he kept talking. "We'll probably be there in a couple of hours. I really want to talk to you about spending the New Year in my family's cottage. It's amazing!" He gushed. "Talk to you soon." Then he hung up.

My mouth was left agape and my insides were melting, for entirely different reasons, not good reasons. He was speaking about a future with me, even if it was a few months away, it was still a future. A future I did not have.

My body shook involuntarily at the thought of admitting the truth to him. My eyes welled up in tears and my fists clenched by themselves. How was I supposed to tell him the truth? How was I supposed to make him understand that the chances of me spending New Year's with him were slim?

I had a hard enough time convincing myself I was dying. The girl who had dreamed of dying to stop from living had faded into the back of my mind. Naruto had pulled out the younger version of me, a girl who was brave and confident and would fight until the end.

It didn't even matter, both girls were fading. And both girls would leave some of the most important people behind.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sat in my room by myself, I was only coming to terms with what I had actually done.

I fell in love.

In love with Naruto. And he was well, I didn't know if he loved me but I knew that he cared deeply for me which is why what I had been doing to him for months was repulsive!

I was continually lying to him, not telling him how dangerously close I was to dying. I was basically one foot in the door already, my body was already deteriorating. That's probably the only thing this cancer engulfed body was useful for, telling me approximately how much time I had left.

Most people with cancer look terrible before they die, I don't. That's probably the hardest part for me to accept. I look fine, I feel like shit. I can barely breathe without wanting to cry from pain and ultimately guilt. He needed to know, he needed to know today.

It scared me, to think about what he would do when he found out that he was dating a grenade. A ticking bomb that would explode sometime soon, that would leave him and the people close to me shattered. I hoped he would be okay, I really did but I doubted that to be true. I didn't know exactly how much I meant to him but I knew from his words and his actions that I meant a great deal and that my death would cause him inexplicable pain.

I got so carried away in my depressing thoughts I hadn't realized I wasn't breathing. No inhale, no exhale. Crap, were those tears I felt running down my cheeks? I didn't bother checking, I just sat on my bed looking out the window, the autumn leaves looked magnificent.

I would never see them again.

"Hina, why are you crying?" A voice startled me, making me glance towards the opened door. I hadn't even sensed him open it. He was supposed to come over, I told him to when he called earlier. How could I have forgotten such an important detail?

"Hi Naruto." I answered emotionlessly. I was preparing myself for the conversation that had to take place today, right now.

I saw him walk closer to me until he was only a foot away from the bed. He looked extremely hesitant but eventually he sat down beside me, wrapping me in such a warm hug it brought new tears to my eyes. Once he noticed he immediately pulled back. "Does it hurt?" He asked gently. Everything about him when it came to dealing with me was gentle and it was a big difference from his normal self.

"No. Naruto, I need to talk with you." My voice quavered, I was unsteady.

I felt him stiffen next to me and he switched places to sit in front of me. I didn't expect him to pull me up to him, making my legs wrap around his torso but it did not feel awkward, not even for me who was extremely shy when it came to anything romantic wise. I simply wrapped my hands around his neck to alleviate his worries that I could feel radiated off of him.

We stayed like that for a couple minutes, I didn't know what this meant to him but for me it meant a little more time with the boy I loved. It meant a few more minutes where he still felt the same feelings he had for me, a few more minutes before he pitied me, before I became his sadness.

"Tell me what's wrong." He begged me, the emotion behind his voice making my breathing shallow.

"I'm sick." I answer, half sobbing.

He pulled away from me slightly to look at me curiously. I knew what he was thinking, he was thinking he knew exactly how sick I was and that it wasn't an issue for him. He was wrong, he didn't know, he didn't know anything. He only knew of my past and of some sort of bravery he saw in me that is non-existent. If anything he had given me the confidence to fight as long as I have, it had nothing to do with me or my will to live.

I shook my head slightly. "No Naruto, you don't understand. I'm…dying." I whispered the word so lowly I wasn't sure if he heard me or not but from the way his arms around my waist tightened significantly I knew he had.

"What're you talking about?" He asked, voice raspy. I could tell he was trying to contain a lot of emotions from showing but I could see it in his eyes. I was forced to look away, I couldn't look at him for this next part.

My arms that rested in his hair grasped it tightly, silently wishing I didn't have to tell him. "My cancer…It's terminal. I'm going to die."

"No." He said plainly, he lacked so much emotion it frightened me. He got up from my bed, me on his lap effortlessly. He deposited me on the floor and stepped a few feet away from me. His ignorance burned me immensely, I needed him to understand not be in denial.

"Naruto, listen to me." I pleaded and stepped closer, grabbing both his hands with mine. I almost breathed out in relief when he didn't pull away from me, that I was sure would've broken me.

"I was…I mean I am on an experimental drug but if it doesn't work it won't leave me with a lot of time left." I tried explaining, but my voice was thick and there were unshed tears caught between my eyelashes.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked straight into my eyes, his azure ones seemed dull. Almost as if he was lost right now and I did not know where he would be found, if he could ever be found. "When did they start the drug?"

I looked away from him, this was the most shameful part of my confession. "The day after I met you." I told him, my eyes glued to my carpeted floor.

I felt him squeeze my hands gently, making me glance up at him. "How's it going?" He asked, referring to the treatment. "I mean you look healthy."

"Looks can be very deceiving." I said sadly, taking small glances at his face. "I was told I would live for five months if the drug didn't work properly."

"Five…months?" He repeated, not believing the words.

"Yes and I'm on month three."

"But you…" He started, wanting to tell me I looked healthy enough for the drug to be working but he stopped himself. He probably figured that I knew my own body better than he did, if I told him I was close to dying he had to believe me.

This was it, I pursed my lips to keep myself from crying out loud. My jaw was tense and I looked up, swallowing uncomfortably. He needed my strength for when I delivered these words, he couldn't see me cry. Then I would only be his weakness, his eternal sadness and I refused to be only that. "I'm as good as dead."

The words came out aggressively and I knew he wasn't expecting me to be so straight forward about it but it was the best for this situation. However, the way he started shaking frightened me.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He shouted, his voice was terrifying. The reaction was very impulsive as well as the way he pushed my hands away from him.

"I.." I had no answer, I was selfish and I wanted to spend time with him without being his grenade.

"You lied to me! You told me you were fighting it, that you felt stronger!"

Wait, what? He was angry because I told him I felt better when I didn't? He wasn't angry that I didn't tell him I was going to die before he started dating me? What was happening?

"Naruto." I called out to him and he chose that second to break down. Tears leaking recklessly down his cheeks. His perfect cerulean eyes tinted red and puffy. My rock, my comfort and my support was breaking down. It hurt to see him like that and it hurt even more to know I was the cause behind those tears.

He was still standing in front of me but his head was down, he looked too fragile to be the eighteen year old boy he was. "Hey, it's okay. You're going to be okay." I whispered softly, allowing my hands to caress his tear stained cheeks.

He only shook his head from side to side within my palms. "It's not okay, I'm not okay. You can't be…"

"Please tell me you're not going to…" He couldn't say the words, I could tell. Death. Dying. Die. Dead. Pick one Naruto! They all mean the same thing and they're all the truth.

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing I could think of saying at that point. I wasn't strong enough to withstand his crying. It was alright when I saw my mother, or my father. Even my sister or my cousin. I could handle them but Naruto… I couldn't do it. I can't do it.

"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed alongside him.

"You're not going to die!" He exclaimed looking fully into my eyes, we both looked like shit. But I didn't think it mattered to either one of us. There were more important matters at hand.

"I am. The sooner you accept it the faster you can heal." I knew I must've sounded like a bitch, but it was the easiest way to make him understand that he needed to get passed this.

"Heal?" He spit out the word. "You think I'll be able to heal if you die?"

I could only nod my head, he was young. He could find someone else, as much as it would hurt it was what was fair to him. He needed to live his life with someone who was as healthy as he was.

"You're insane! I'm in love with you don't you understand?" His words were slurred since he hadn't stopped crying but I could hear him perfectly. At a time when everything seemed like hell his words lifted me onto cloud nine. He was in love with me!

I couldn't help but start crying again, I had royally screwed this up.

"You can't die. You won't die." He told me, voice filled with useless determination.

I looked up startled by his tone only to see that he had gone ghostly pale. His lips were almost turning blue and he seemed to be swaying side to side. He reached for anything around him for support until he couldn't handle himself much longer. He wasn't breathing right, it wasn't just sadness. This was serious!

He then lost his footing and collapsed on the ground, out cold. My blood froze when I took his pulse, it was significantly slow and very weak. Why was he dying?!

I did the only thing I could think to do.

I screamed for help.


	7. Worst Fear

**Author's Note:** I don't really have much to say, just thanks for all the great reviews and enjoy this chapter!

*Italics are Hinata's memories.*

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or the characters

* * *

He was sick. Naruto was sick.

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Cry because I loved him and I certainly did not want him in death's way. I also wanted to laugh at the irony that I had been berating myself for being his grenade, not even bothering to ponder the reverse.

He was mine too.

He could blow any minute and there would be nothing left of me if he did.

After Naruto had collapsed a week ago I had yelled for help and immediately both our fathers ran up the stairs. Both expecting me on the floor I was sure, only to be in for a shock as they saw Naruto pale and lifeless. They had immediately called for an ambulance and he was taken to the ICU of the nearest hospital.

It was that night in the hospital waiting room that Minato-Naruto's father- told us what was occurring. Of course my whole family was present as well as the Uchiha's seeing as they were extremely close to Naruto and his father. Sasuke looked tired and worried but he seemed to have a better handle of the wheelchair he was using so that was a big relief. I thought maybe he would never get used to it.

I sat beside Naruto while he rested on his bed, my mind wandering back to the conversation we had had with Minato.

"_Naruto has a heart condition." I heard Minato state lowly, though I knew he didn't have to speak loudly to gain any of our attention._

"_What kind of heart condition?" Sasuke's mother asked, I could tell there was dread in her voice, almost as if she knew what was coming._

"_The same as Kushina." He answered her though all I really knew was that Kushina was Naruto's deceased mother. She had a heart condition? I looked at Sasuke for an explanation but he seemed to know about as much as I did. _

"_Pardon me but I'm not sure I'm comprehending." I prod tremulously. I could tell this wouldn't be good news at all._

_Minato smiled at me apologetically. "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to tell you Hinata, I barely got a chance to tell your parents. Naruto seems to want to keep this a secret but after tonight's…episode I'm afraid I no longer have a choice."_

_I nodded for him to continue. A deep uncomfortable feeling making its way across my body. I rung my hands out awkwardly and shyly. I also had to bite my lip to not worry myself sick. _

"_Kushina died during childbirth as I'm sure Naruto mentioned." I nodded again. "She died because of heart failure. She lived with a certain heart condition that made her rather delicate." He tried to explain in terms both Sasuke and I could understand. "If her heart was put under too much stress it would give out. Childbirth proved to be too much stress for her and she passed shortly after delivering Naruto."_

_I breathed in slowly, taking the words in one by one. So Naruto's mother had a delicate heart condition, what did it have to do with Naruto? "Turns out the condition is hereditary." He said despondently._

_NO! Not him._

_Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack._

_That's how my heart felt. Like it was shattering into such small fragments I doubted I could find them all even if I spent the rest of my life looking for them. _

_He was not okay. He had never been okay. _

_He wasn't as healthy as I had perceived. I could tell Sasuke was as stunned as I was and I could tell he felt guilty for how he had treated Naruto. _

"_So…" I started speaking, having to clear my throat before I could continue. "He could die?"_

_Minato's eyes-which happened to be the same shade of blue as his son's- dulled significantly and I almost felt like kicking myself for asking such a question. "I'm afraid so. We found his condition two years ago which was why we went away. He wasn't studying abroad, we were visiting every specialist possible to find a cure. There isn't one. The only thing they can do for him is a heart transplant and there is quite a long waiting list." He admitted rather sadly, causing the pit in my stomach to drop even deeper inside of me. _

"_What exactly is considered stressful?" My father asked._

"_His heart is extremely delicate so even the little things can cause major damage. For example he hasn't been allowed to play sports since we found his condition. Driving is also too much of a risk." No wonder he was always nervous to drive!_

_I saw Sasuke swallow and his eyes widened. Sasuke had resented Naruto for being healthy and for being able to do all the things he couldn't do. And now that he knew the truth I bet he felt like shit. I could see I would have to have a talk with him to alleviate his worries. Naruto would never hold that against him and we both knew it, he just needed to be reminded is all. I tried smiling at him in a comforting matter but I could tell he was already berating himself in his mind. _

"_What exactly triggered it, the episode I mean." Neji asked._

_Minato looked over at me a sheepish smile on his face. "I was hoping Hinata could tell me, you two were talking when it happened right?"_

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. _

_This was my fault! I stressed him out when I told him the truth and now he was in the ICU. I suck! Aside from lying to him for months I also almost killed him, I had to be the worst girlfriend known to the human world. I swear to God. And how was I supposed to explain that to his father, and mine and Sasuke's and ahhhh!_

"_We…I…well…yeah we were talking. It was umm, personal?" It came out like a question._

"_You told him?" Sasuke asked me and I was sure everyone around me was confused as to why we were being so vague. I mean, my family knew I was probably going to die soon but they hadn't actually heard me say it. I had only ever told Sasuke and now Naruto and with such disastrous results I doubted I would tell anyone else. _

"_Yeah." I told him, detached. _

_He seemed to understand this wasn't the time or place to have this conversation so he turned back to face Minato. "The point is he has a heart condition that's dangerous. Why the hell didn't he tell us?" Sasuke growled out. _

"_He didn't want to worry you, especially after your surgery and just, there's a lot he was worried about." Minato answered, eyes glancing towards me making my heart swell up in pain. I was one of those worries. I just wasn't sure if he was worried about me or worried about telling me._

I sighed aloud, looking intently at Naruto, waiting patiently for his eyes to open. Much to my relief they opened shortly after I started running my pale fingers through his hair. He groaned slightly and shifted on his bed.

"Hey." He greeted me when he noticed me, his voice was still sleepy but he looked adorable.

"Hi." I answered softly, still caressing his unruly hair. I could tell he was enjoying it from the smile on his face.

"I was telling the truth you know." He said suddenly, sitting up on the bed. I didn't know what he was referring to but I knew what I wanted to talk to him about.

"What're you talking about?"

"I'm in love with you." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I don't care if you've given up on your own life, I won't give up on you."

His words caused my eyes to glisten and I had to look away from fear of breaking down in front of him. Those words were the ones I had dreamed of hearing from him, that he would love me no matter what. But I knew it would be better if he didn't love me at all. Still, I couldn't find it in me to tell him otherwise. I loved a grenade too and there was nothing I could do to stop, I didn't even want to stop.

I smiled sweetly at him. "I'm quite in love with you too." I tell him honestly causing the biggest grin I had ever seen on his face. He yanked himself out of bed and kissed me soundly on the lips, something unexpected yet treasured nonetheless.

The kiss didn't seem to last very long but I savoured the moment like I had savoured every other time our lips had met. Something about him was magical. He made my useless, cancer infested body feel alive and it was a feeling I wish would never end. Still, I needed to have another conversation with him.

"So you're in love with me too?" He asked rhetorically. "What a relief, I thought it was a one sided thing for a while." He was talking about my reluctance to be his grenade, I had done it for a good reason though all my attempts failed at the end.

"Yes, I am in love with you. Even with your heart condition." I tell him, letting him know I have been filled into his situation.

The reaction was immediate, his smile faded and he sat back down on the bed to steady himself. "My dad?"

"He found it necessary to fill me in."

Naruto sighed loudly. "It wasn't his news to share."

"You wouldn't have shared at all!" I retaliate feeling a little defensive.

"I don't think there's much room for you to talk about this with me Hinata." He was being serious and he was right. It was like the kettle calling the pot black. We were both lying and I knew my reason but I didn't know his.

"I was trying to protect you." The words came out small and useless.

"Protect me from what? From you?" His voice was rising steadily and but I took a look at the heart monitor and it seemed to be normal.

"I wanted to protect you from losing me." I say seriously, I didn't want to seem boastful but it was the truth.

He growled slightly at how I worded my phrase and he looked at himself in disgust. I didn't know why until he started speaking. "I guess I should've protected you too."

"No." I answer him honestly, I did not blame him for not telling me. He was still fine and he had a better chance of living than I did.

"That's somewhat hypocritical Hinata." He had a joyless smile on his face, I never wanted to see that one on him.

"It's different." I mumble out, immediately knowing that was the wrong thing to say.

"No it's not!" He yelled, the heart monitor picking up speed. "If what you did, keeping your distance from me was right than me trying to get close to you with this fucking piece of shit heart was wrong. So which is it?" His voice was strong, the heart monitor staying at the same speedy pace.

"I was wrong." The words tumbled out in an attempt to placate him. His emotions were getting the best of him and his heart couldn't handle such things right now.

He shook his head, calling out my lie. "I couldn't stop myself." He replied honestly, heart beat back to regular making me sigh in relief. "I saw you and I knew I shouldn't have but I wanted to so bad." The words coming from him weren't making much sense.

"When you were in the ICU I begged you to come back." He looked away from me, onto his lap. "I wanted you to fall in love with me. I wanted you to love me as much as I loved you. I wanted a future for us."

I opened my mouth to console him but he shook his head, a few lone tears trailing down his face. "I was selfish for not telling you. Hell, I doubted I would've told you if my father hadn't. I…I'm still selfish Hinata, I'm holding onto that dream. I'm not giving up on you…on us."

More tears followed his confession and the heart monitor started picking up a lot of speed, making me nervous. It appeared stress and sadness made his heart more fragile than it already was. What luck that he was dating a grenade.

"It's okay." I soothe with the calmest smile I had in my catalogue. "I was selfish too, it was stupid not to tell you right away."

He smiled at me, a nostalgic smile I couldn't help but find breath taking. "I forgive you. I didn't even really blame you for anything. I can't blame you, I didn't even give you a chance to tell me. Every time you tried I waved it off, I didn't want to hear it because…" He trailed off and went on to smile a real smile. "I'm sorry too."

I laughed slightly, my heart beating slowly while I took in the machines hooked up around him, his heart beat was still erratic. It hurt to see him in a hospital because he was sick. A frown made it's way onto my face and I held back tears.

"Naruto…" I cooed, climbing on the bed with him, hoping to calm him down before his heart gave out again. I couldn't possibly be witness to that again, it was traumatic. I smiled slightly when his heart beat settled. I sat sideways on his lap, something I knew he loved and laid my head against his shoulder. "I don't want to lose you." I admit softly.

He holds me tight against him, breathing harshly against my hair. "You're not going to." He assures me and it soothes me, even if he was lying to me. "And I'm not going to lose you either." He added gruffly. He sounded so much older than he actually was, but then again we weren't so different after all. We were both dying and it seemed that just made you mature earlier.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sat at my kitchen table that night pondering Naruto's condition and mine as well. It seemed completely unfair that not only my very life was being taken but his too, the boy whom I loved dearly. I didn't want to think about it but I knew I couldn't stop myself. Without Naruto beside me I'm ashamed to admit most of my thoughts revolved around my death and now that I knew the truth about him too it didn't even matter if I was with him, death chased me.

"Hinata, you haven't even eaten anything." My mother admonished. She sat right in front of me, her eyes glistened with unfallen tears.

"I'm not hungry." I answer, my voice cold.

"You have to eat." I heard my father speak from beside me causing my head to spin in his direction. His words weren't soft like my mother's, this was an order.

"I don't** have** to do anything. " I assure, my voice smug. I knew this was rude and it was probably the rudest I had been with my parents but I couldn't contain the anger I felt inside of me. It felt like everything was being taken away from me at once.

"Hina…" My cousin and my sister spoke at once. It was a warning but I ignored it wholly. What could my parents possibly do to me at this point, nothing could be worse than knowing he was going to die. Possibly sooner than I would.

"Honey." My mom called to me in such a caring voice I wanted to cry.

"No!" I shouted standing up leaving my chair empty. "I don't want to fucking eat okay?"

I saw my mom's look of surprise and my dad's look of weary. I didn't care.

"Don't you understand? There's no point in eating! I'm going to die. DIE, MOM."

My mom choked on her tears but I felt no remorse, I didn't feel anything but burning anger. A desire to hurt anyone I could as long as I knew they could get over it, nothing would be worse than hurting them with my death anyways.

"Get it through your head, you won't be my mother anymore. Dad won't be my dad, Neji won't be my cousin and Hanabi won't be my sister. Do you know why?!" I didn't wait for any responses. "Because I'll be dead!"

I huffed in anger, my sobs rising from deep within my throat until they came to surface. Shamelessly my head sunk onto the table and I sat back down. I had never cried so hard in front of my family, not even when they had told me the cancer had come back. It was never my intention to cry like this but I couldn't help it. Knowing that Naruto wouldn't be able to live a long and happy life shifted my emotional balance off scale. I was a monster waiting to be unleashed.

It took a few minutes for them to get themselves together. When I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder I stiffened, I didn't want to look at them and their crying faces. I didn't want them to see me crying either. I just wanted them to know the truth that I would die and that they couldn't just spend their lives crying over me, especially my mother.

They waited as long as they had to before I fully opened my eyes and turned to look at them. I was pleasantly surprised to not see any of them crying. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, you needed to let it out. For years actually." My mother answered me. "But you're wrong about what you said."

I tilt my head at her, confused. The rest of my family seems to know what she's talking about since they're all giving me similar smiles. "I will always be your mother." She told be earnestly, not a hint of sadness in her voice.

"And I will always be your father."

"As I your cousin."

"And I your sister."

I couldn't help myself but sob out loud. "You'll be okay?" I question, hoping they would know what I was talking about.

"We will deal with any future plans as a family, Hinata." My father told me and even though it wasn't a response that said 'yes' it still relieved me.

"That doesn't mean you can stop fighting." My younger sister told me. I only nodded my head telling her I wouldn't stop fighting, even if it wasn't entirely true.

"Go get some sleep, Naruto should be out of the hospital tomorrow and I know you really want to see him." My mom smiled at me and led me up the stairs to my room.

I wondered what conversation I would hear if I stayed by my door instead of entering it. I wondered if they would all break down at once, letting me know their strength earlier was a mere lie or if they would hug each other and prove to me it was real. I would never know because even if it was a lie, it was a lie I wanted to believe and I wouldn't ruin the only good thing that had come out of this.


	8. Beautiful

**Author's note:** Hey guys, so a review mentions Hinata being ooc last chapter and I agree she was a little ooc but you guys have to understand that this story isn't canon. It's set in a totally different atmosphere and for the better part I do try and keep them in character out of respect for canon. But she's dying and they were bottled up feelings for years, I think a curse was acceptable. Also, for that reviewer keep in mind that the genre of this story is Angst...

One last thing, I have a very dry sense of humour and I have incorporated that in the story however if you did not get it I apologize, that's just the type of humour I deal with. Anyways, thanks for the reviews and I hope that clears up the reasoning behind her strange behaviour. Enjoy this next chapter.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or its characters.

* * *

A couple of weeks had passed since Naruto was released from the hospital, all the doctors ensuring that he would be fine to be at home. For his part, my favourite blonde didn't let his little episode deter him from being himself. Whenever we would hang out or even if Sasuke would join us he seemed to be happy go lucky and peppy all the time.

Every time I looked at him I felt a slight pang in my heart knowing a person like that could do wonders in this hateful world. He would be the savior, I was sure. He would make the impossible happen and he would be the one to find world peace. He could do all those things, if only he wasn't dying.

I knew him, I knew he wanted to be someone important to the world. Contribute in the best way possible. I knew he had high standards for his life, his tremendously short life.

Most days Naruto was himself but there were other days where he wasn't. Some times when he was with me he would hold me like I would disappear if I moved a fingertip, a desperate attempt to keep me on the earth longer, I think. Other days he felt like he was the one who was going to die first so he kept his distance from me, like that would somehow lessen the pain for me if that were to happen.

Today was a good day. Today Naruto was the Naruto who had stumbled into my hospital room by accident. The dorky boy who had unexpectedly snuggled his way into my heart without me even realizing it. And since today he was that boy I decided that today I would be the girl who still had life, the girl he fell in love with.

"Sasuke, pleaseeeeeeee!" I begged him, extending the please as far as I could. We were in my house today, a Friday. All of our families were out of town this weekend. They were attending Itachi's and Neji's medical school graduation ceremony and although we were also invited with Sasuke being in his wheelchair, Naruto's delicate heart and my crappy body we decided it wouldn't be a good idea. So instead they would spend the weekend at my house.

"No." He deadpanned.

I frowned and stuck out my lower lip in an attempt to give him my best puppy eyes. I hoped I looked cute. I heard Naruto chuckled from the other side of the room. "How do you say no to that?" Naruto questioned his best friend.

Sasuke looked at Naruto briefly then back to me. I was sure he was going to say something along the lines of 'like this' but instead he sighed aggravated and muttered a low 'fine'. When I heard his acceptance I squealed like a little girl and opened up my front door, both boys following behind me.

"So how's this going to work?" Naruto questioned looking down the hill my house was situated on.

"Easy, I'll sit on Sasuke's lap and you push us down. I'll pray to God Sasuke can stop and it'll be fun."

Sasuke eyed me distastefully. "We might actually die."

"You will if you touch my girlfriend in any other way than platonic."

"Are you kidding me you idiot? She's like a sister."

I rolled my eyes at their banter and hopped on Sasuke. I held onto the sides of the wheelchair and waited patiently for Naruto to start pushing us. I smiled when his hands wrapped around the back of the chair and he started to push us forward.

"Good luck." Naruto said lowly and off we went.

It was amazing. I was nervous and excited all at once. The wind hit my face pretty roughly but it kind of felt like I was flying, like I was being set free. I didn't think it would feel so incredible but it did, it gave me some sort of liberation. It made me feel that if I died right that instant things would be alright.

Fortunately we didn't die. Sasuke maneuvered the thing pretty well and we stopped safely at the bottom. I could tell he wasn't as impressed as I was with the ride but he had done it with me because he was my friend, my best friend.

"Thank you Sasuke." I told him and I knew he could sense the honesty in my voice, I knew he would be able to realize that this meant more to me than what meets the simple eye.

He merely nodded but from the smile he gave me I knew he wasn't as annoyed with the idea the way he was when I first suggested it. It may have taken me an hour to convince him but I did not regret it one bit, it was an hour well wasted for the thirty seconds it took us to get down the hill.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm bored." Naruto groaned as we sat in my living room watching some old black and white movie. None of us had any energy to grab the remote and change the channel.

"Same." Sasuke added in from his place on the sofa. I only grunted in agreement before looking around the room for something interesting to do.

A knock on my door caught my attention and lazily I got up from my spot beside Naruto to answer it. On the other side stood Sakura, her eyes were red and puffy. I really didn't know what to say, I barely knew the girl. She was friends with the guys not really me but when she caught sight of my face she lunged forward and hugged me to her, crying desperately on my shoulder.

"Hello." I said cautiously. I wasn't sure if she was here for me or if she knew the boys were staying here the weekend.

"H-Hi." She stuttered out in between sobs.

It didn't take long for the guys in the other room to realize I had been gone a little too long I guess cause the next thing I knew they both made their way to the front entrance. I was sure both were as surprised as I was to see the pink haired girl on my doorstep.

"Sakura?" Sasuke asked uncertainly. The effect on the girl was immediate. She pulled back from me and looked at the two intruders with surprise and horror. I guess she hadn't known they would be staying at my house.

"What's she doing here?" Naruto asked me as if I would actually know.

I only shrugged my shoulders and frowned at her, wondering the same thing. "I…I just needed to talk with Hinata." She answered but her voice sounded extremely nervous. I couldn't blame her, the two behind me didn't really like her all that much right now, well Naruto did but Sasuke didn't.

"About what?" I ask her softly, trying to ease her nerves.

"Sasuke." She breathed out knowing full well they would hear her but it seems like she didn't care all that much.

"You want to talk about me instead of to me? Nice." Sasuke told her sarcastically making her flinch slightly.

"No, now that you're here I'd rather speak with you directly." I could tell she was slowly gaining some sort of confidence back.

Worriedly I looked behind me to see Naruto's reaction, he seemed to be fine with everything that was happening. "Can we go for a drive?" She asked Sasuke.

I knew what he felt for her, even if she had broken his heart. "Okay." He answered her.

I sighed loudly and made way for him to go through the front door. A part of me was not at all happy with letting Sasuke out with her but I knew it wasn't my choice to make so I had to stand aside and let him make decisions for himself, he was strong enough to do so.

Naruto and I helped them load in the wheelchair and they left. Neither of us knew how long they would be gone but I had a feeling that Sasuke wouldn't come back until tomorrow. They needed to have a very long and emotional talk that I was sure would take more time than either of them could imagine.

"You think they'll be alright?" Naruto asked me when we headed back inside the house and sat on the couch.

"Probably not." He looked at me worriedly. "I just mean they're probably going to cry a lot." I clarified, easing his worries.

He chuckled lowly and muttered a 'probably' before placing his hand around my shoulder. I didn't know it would happen then but pain shot through me like an arrow laced with fire. I hissed loudly and he took the offending arm as far away from me as possible. My skin felt incredibly hot and that spot on my shoulder burned.

"Okay?" He questioned frantically.

I was nodding my head but I wasn't saying the words, I didn't think things were okay. Everything was rather messed up actually. "Look at me." He pleaded, my eyes were already feeling heavy. I knew the urge to cry when I felt it. I just didn't think it would come so suddenly and from something as insignificant as what had just happened.

Reluctantly I shifted my eyes over to him. He was still smiling but I could tell he was scared. I didn't want him to be scared, I wanted him to be exactly the way I met him. I wanted this goddamn cancer to be in someone else's body and I wanted his goddamn heart to get its shit together so he could live a happy, long life. I just wanted everything to be different, I didn't want to be me and I was sure he didn't want to be him either.

He stared at me with a serious expression for a minute or two and suddenly his lips crashed on top of mine. It wasn't a sweet chaste kiss. It was desperate and heated and I wanted so much more from him than he was giving me right now. Forgetting about how my body ached or how his heart could give out at any minute I climbed on top of him, grasping every part of him I could.

He had no objections. I vaguely remember moving slightly and then being dropped on my bed, in my room. How had we gotten up the stairs? "Naruto." I breathe out, ecstasy taking hold of me in a firm grasp. I didn't want to stop, I wouldn't stop.

It was sudden the way his movements went from being barbaric and passionate to sweet and gentle. Immediately I looked at him in confusion. He only smiled at me and kissed my lips sweetly. I think I understood. He wanted this to be more than two people who were dying trying to experience what life had to offer them. He wanted this to be memorable in the best way possible. Still, I had to ask.

"Your heart?"

He growled slightly when I pulled my lips away from him to ask the question but he did not seem upset that I had asked it. "It'll survive."

I nodded slightly and allowed my hands to roam underneath his shirt. He smiled at me slightly before pulling back to take off the shirt. I hadn't really seen any naked torsos aside from my cousin and Sasuke once but they paled in comparison to his. He was lean and muscular and he was…just perfect. I doubted I could look even half as good as he did without my shirt but I tried to push my insecurities back, I wasn't going to change my mind about this.

His hands skimmed over my t-shirt carefully, as if asking for permission. I laughed slightly and sat up in front of him. It was now or never. Slowly I lifted my arms and allowed him to take it off me. "You're beautiful." He muttered before kissing me, making most of my fears disappear with my shirt.

When he pulled back is when I felt the cold air hit my body pretty harshly and I still felt some stinging pain but I tried to put that all aside.

"Hurts?" He whispered softly, his face getting closer with mine. I could only manage to nod at him slightly. For a second I thought he was going to stop but he didn't.

His lips hovered above my right shoulder blade and he started planting small kisses all along my upper body. Most of my life had been dedicated to dragging this useless body around with me, it was my curse to being alive. But in that moment when his lips trailed across me ever so delicately I was thankful for it. I was thankful for this cancer abused body that let me feel everything I felt for him.

The sweetness behind the kisses drove my heart into a flurry and my head into dizziness. Never did I expect for someone as great as him to allow me to be by his side. I did not expect him to treat me so delicately, practically kissing away my pain. I didn't expect any of it but Naruto was real and he was sitting with me doing everything possible to make me feel loved.

When he was finished his ministrations I felt obliged to return the favor. He allowed me to taste the saltiness of his tanned skin. I could feel him tense under my lips, it was then I realized he was possibly more nervous than I was. "I love you Naruto Uzumaki." I breathed against his neck. I felt him relax immediately.

"I love you too."

The whole ordeal was nothing like I expected it to be. What had started off as fast and passionate had turned out to be slow and patient. Neither painful nor particularly ecstatic but overall it had been an amazing night.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next morning I woke up nuzzling my head into something hard. Much too hard to be my pillow. I opened my eyes sleepily and looked up to see spikey blonde hair and enticing azure eyes staring at me. I tried pushing myself off of him in embarrassment but I couldn't. His arms trapped me against his naked chest causing me to blush slightly, having remembered what had happened last night.

"Umm, hi?" I sounded like an idiot, totally shy.

"Good morning." He replied with a small chuckle. I felt it vibrate through his chest more than I actually heard the sound though he was still sexy when he'd done it. I looked around the room spotting my alarm clock that read it wasn't even six thirty in the morning yet.

"How long have you been up? " I ask him, his face looked nothing like my sleepy one.

For the first time in a while I saw him get tongue tied. His face gained a noticeable red hue and his eyes wandered around the room aimlessly, trying not to look at me. I couldn't help but smile. Was he bashful because he was watching me sleep?

I grasped his chin with my fingers and made him look at me, one of my eyebrows rising in suspicion. What seemed like an eternity passed before he breathed out dramatically.

"Okay, fine! I've been up for a while but I like watching you sleep." He admitted, voice losing volume as the sentence progressed.

My laughter followed his confession and I grinned up at him, he really was too cute. "Though you do snore slightly." He finished making my face heat up in embarrassment.

Now it was his turn to laugh at me as I hurriedly slipped from under his arms and shot up off the bed, making sure to take a blanket with me to cover my bare body. "I'm going to take a quick shower." I announce already making my way towards my bathroom.

"Can I join?" He teased causing me to splutter out incoherent words. I heard him laugh for a good while until the sound of water dropping tuned him out.

By the time I got out of the shower it seemed as if he had used one of the other bathrooms for himself since he was at the kitchen making pancakes in different clothes with his hair dripping wet. I couldn't help but stare at him, he looked good. He grinned at me as I made my way over to him.

"So, last night…" I start speaking, I don't even notice the words that are coming out of my mouth. I see him raise an intrigued eyebrow. "You were okay right? Like you didn't almost die and decided not to tell me." I finished lamely.

His laughter rang out shortly after I spoke. "Let me confess something to you Hinata." He walked towards me as he spoke, grabbing my hands with his. "If my heart had decided to give out last night I would have personally come back in ghost form to kick my own ass."

I laughed slightly, glad to hear it wasn't that big of a strain on his already fragile heart. "Okay, just making sure."

He nodded to me and kissed my cheek before walking back to his half made pancakes. "I'm expecting Sasuke any minute now." He tells be just as the front door opens and two people step inside. Into the kitchen came both Sasuke and Sakura, laughing. "That I was not expecting."

I was confused as well, I could have sworn Sasuke hated Sakura for what she had done. "Do you guys mind if Sakura stays for breakfast?"

"I guess not." I tell him.

As Naruto and Sakura set the table Sasuke made his way over to me. "I'm tired of resenting anyone who's healthy you know? I spent so much time hating Naruto for that reason only to realize he wasn't even deserving of it. I just want to move on. I don't know if I'll ever get back with her but it's a good start."

I understood where he was coming from so I smiled. "You know Naruto won't hold that against you."

He nodded at me and looked towards his brother like figure sadly. "What if I don't have enough time to make it up to him?"

The way he says the words hurt because they're true. None of us really knew how much time he had left with us, none of us knew when his heart would give up. After last night I knew he was the one, he would be my first and last love.

Fear gripped my heart at the thought of losing him, I couldn't lose him.


	9. Decisions

**Author's Note:** Ah! Thank you so much for all your amazing reviews! I really enjoy reading them and because you are all so awesome I'm going to update the rest daily. We are nearing the end friends, I should give you fair warning.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or its characters.

* * *

Mid December had come sooner than I'd like it to. Today was a pretty big day for my family, I was already on month four of my predicted last five months of life so I had to be checked to see if the experimental drug was actually working.

Everyone around me had high hopes, including Naruto. I really had been feeling like normal, not any sicker than I used to be but I knew this meeting wouldn't give us good news. I currently sat on the hospital bed that was pretty much mine since I was always in the same room when I came to this hospital. My parents, my sister and my cousin sat or stood around me waiting for the doctor to come back into the room.

We had to wait a couple of hours before Dr. Tsunade entered the room. The look on her face looked neutral, it was the face she always had on when she was about to deliver bad news. Hell, it was the face she always had on when she told me any news. None of my news was ever good.

"What's the verdict?" I ask.

She looked down at her notes and swallowed uncomfortably. "The drug, it's keeping your symptoms at bay but it has done nothing to reverse your cancer. It makes you feel fine but the cancer is still spreading, I'm afraid the five month terminal status stands." She said the words looking at me.

That's why I liked Dr. Tsunade, she understood that this was my life, my cancer and my body. She didn't have to look at my parents to tell me **my** news, she just had to look at me. I could see from the corner of my eye my mother slump down onto the floor, Neji and my father going into immediate action. Trying to calm her down.

"We could try targeting each area that is infected one by one and see if we can prolong your life but if I may be honest with you all today it would be pointless. You would be living uncomfortably for a very long time and though you would be alive you would be in hell."

I didn't want that, I didn't want any of that.

"No." I state clearly. "It's okay, I knew this was coming. So I have around a month left?"

"Yes, though we can never be too certain." She answers tersely, guilt present on her face. "I'd like to run another set of tests to see the new places the cancer has spread to, could you come in tomorrow morning?"

I only nodded numbly. Every part of me felt numb. There were no other drugs to try. No new treatments, this was it. I was going to die in a month or live longer in pain.

We exited the room half an hour later, we knew Sasuke and Naruto and their families would be in the waiting room and I didn't want them to see my mother like this. Before we reached them I turned to look at them squarely.

My smile was surprisingly warm, gentle and assuring. I wanted them to remember me this way, not the girl they had witnessed break down a while ago. "Everything will be fine."

I lied.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"What happened?" Minato asked as soon as we reached them. I looked at my father urging him to lie for me but I knew he couldn't.

"The treatment has failed." His words came out anguish filled, making me look away from him. They didn't deserve this. They didn't deserve a weak daughter who had let cancer consume her.

I could feel all eyes glued on me and my eyes were glued on the floor. Nobody wanted to move, I was sure they were afraid I would blow up. That I would shatter into a million pieces if they did anything unexpected or sudden. I couldn't say their caution was for not, I was terrified. I was on the edge of a diving board that led to eternal darkness.

And what was worse was that I had done nothing with my life.

Blankly I walked over to the elevator and pressed the button to go to the parking area, I just wanted to go home. I just wanted to sit in my room and cry, not for myself but for them.

The door was closing slowly before someone stopped the door from closing all together. Naruto stepped inside and let the door close behind him. We stood in momentary silence, not pressing the button that would make the elevator move. He cleared his throat and looked over at me so I did the same.

"I'm sorry." I apologize, I know he must be hurting right now.

He doesn't smile, he doesn't laugh but I see a little amusement in his eyes. "You won't die before me." He tells me and let's himself slide down the wall of the elevator, his right hand grasping his heart over his shirt.

I knew he wasn't having an episode so I don't freak out as I see him do this, I only let my body follow his fluid movements and park myself beside him. He lets go of his heart and his hand reaches for mine, I let him intertwine our fingers. "I had a check-up yesterday…" He starts speaking and my body freezes, already piecing together what was coming. My breathing is ragged and for what little useless life I had, I wanted to sell it to God or even the devil so he could not say the next words I knew were coming.

"It's beating too slowly." He says simply but I know the meaning behind those words. "I'll be dead within a couple of weeks I'm sure." He says the words really plainly but the tears that manage to escape his eyes are anything but plain.

"I don't know how you're so calm, I'm so scared Hinata. I'm scared of not being able to see my dad or Sasuke or you. I…" He broke. The strongest person I had ever met broke, for the second time. "I wanted to be with you forever." He tells me making me start crying too, it was a dream I shared with him.

My grip on his hand tightened and I leaned my head on his shoulder. "I could've made a difference! I wanted to be a hero to them, to all of them and now I won't even have time to get to the New Year." He wails, pain laced his voice.

I never had as much expectations for my life since I had always been sick. But I did have some expectations and like him I wanted to be known but I was alright with making a difference in a few lives. He wanted to make a difference in a lot of lives and I know he could.

He turned his head over to me and I held him, I held him protectively in my arms while he sobbed. It took him twenty minutes to calm down. "At least I won't have to see a world without you." He tells me softly, whispering the words into my neck. "I didn't think my heart would survive that anyways."

It hurt. It hurt to see him like this and to hear the words coming out of his lips. "You're so important to me Naruto, even if you never become a hero the time you spent with me has made you my hero." I knew it wouldn't be enough but I tried.

He nodded into my neck, his tears running down my collar and into my shirt. "I love you. I love you so much, please don't ever forget that, don't forget me." He spoke brokenly.

I couldn't breathe. I really couldn't. It was then that it hit me that he was dying much faster than I would. I didn't want him to die. I hadn't realized this before but somewhere along the line I had put his wellbeing over my own. I didn't care if I died, I always knew I would but I couldn't fathom the thought of allowing him to die. Even if we would be magically reunited in heaven or something of the sort, I couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine even for a minute living in a world where Naruto was not present.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I sat in my room most of the night tears running down my face. I needed to make a decision and I knew which one I wanted to make, I just didn't know how my family would feel. I tried telling myself it was my life and my choices but I knew I couldn't be so selfish. I needed their support.

It was almost 2 in the morning when my phone vibrated from under my pillow. I grabbed it blindly, since my room was dark and turned it to see that I had a new message. It was from Naruto.

Naruto: If you're awake call me.

I didn't even hesitate, my fingers already hitting the call button. It only took a single ring for him to pick up. "Hinata." He greeted, sounding a lot more like the boy filled with cheerfulness.

"Hello."

"Can't sleep either huh?"

"No, it's been a pretty stressful day."

I heard him laugh slightly and it brought a smile to my lips, I was glad I could still make him smile like that. Even in the worst of situations it seemed as if I was to him what he was to me; a light in eternal darkness.

"I'll be there in ten." I heard him tell me and then he hung up. I sprinted from my bed into my closet, picking up a pair of black jeans and a baby blue shirt that hung off one shoulder. I stepped out into my balcony to wait for him, the December air not as cold as I would have thought. We barely get snow where I'm from.

I saw a car pull up on the curb with its lights dimmed and a figure step out of the driver seat. I knew he wasn't supposed to be driving but I couldn't say anything. This whole night would probably prove to be a deadly one already.

"Jump down and I'll catch you." He whispered up when he got in front of my balcony. My eyes widened at what he was asking of me. My balcony was two stories up, not super high but really high in my opinion.

"You won't drop me?" I whisper back.

"Never." He told me.

Breathing deeply I put both legs over the railing and allowed myself to drop. Surprisingly strong arms caught me with ease and he carried me all the way to his car, another stress I knew couldn't be good for him at this point.

"Where to?" I questioned, there wasn't a lot we could do at this time.

"You're going to think I'm insane but there's a tattoo parlor opened like a ten minute drive from here." He looked over at me nervously.

I did think he was insane, he wanted a freaking tattoo?! "Umm, you want a tattoo?"

"Sort of…I mean I want us to get a tattoo. I know it's totally cheesy to get matching tattoos but I mean I don't have a lot of time left and I want you to have a physical way to remember me you know?" He sounded so unsure of himself.

I sighed aloud, the idea was absolutely crazy but it was exciting too! I had never done anything bad in my life, nothing worth mentioning and this, this would be awesome! "Okay, let's get tattoos."

He grinned at me and took off at great speeds. "Don't you have to be eighteen?" I asked him.

"I am eighteen."

"But I'm not." I reminded him but he only waved my comment off.

"You turn eighteen in like a week and a half I'm sure the guy won't mind, plus if we tell him you have cancer he definitely won't mind."

I nodded and we entered the parlor, a big guy with tattoos covering every inch of his body stood in front of us, not smiling but not frowning either. "Hey, we were wondering if we could get tattoos?" Naruto asked lively.

The big guy chuckled. "It's what I do kid. You both eighteen?"

"Well that's the thing…" Naruto started and went off in explaining some magical love story between us. I had a hard time believing he saw our story like that but I was happy he did, I had never been a sadness to him. My smile had –according to him- saved him.

By the end of the story the guy was practically in tears, not something I expected would happen. "Okay, I can do matching tattoos, what would you like?" He asked, wiping his tears with his sleeve.

Naruto looked like a deer caught in headlights as he turned to me. "I hadn't really thought of an actual symbol. Oh man, I'm the worst!"

I had to giggle slightly. "Well you said you wanted a way for us to remember each other forever right?"

He nodded slowly, not knowing where I would take this. "How about we get infinity symbols?"

Eyes glittered excitedly as he took my hand in his. "That's genius and in the corner of it I'll get your initials and you'll get mine?" He pleaded.

"Sounds good." I said with a small laugh.

"Perfect, so where will I be drawing today?" The tattoo artist asked.

"Wrist?" He asked, turning to look at me. I nodded my consent and everything was prepared.

It took only half an hour to finish us both off. They weren't big tattoos and they were in simple black ink but the thought that I had done something like this caused adrenaline to shoot through me. The pain was nothing compared to what I had previously gone through with cancer so that was good too.

"They look great." Naruto commented while we got in the car. "I hope I didn't seem to clingy Hinata but I just, I don't know it seemed like something right to do with…you."

I couldn't agree more. It was incredibly cheesy but we were both dying and sharing this with him felt real, it didn't feel like we were only 18 and 17. It felt like we had lived a long enough life to know how much we cared for each other and how reasonable it was to get these. Then again, I was probably going crazy.

"So are we doing anything else insane today?" I ask, waggling my eyebrows suggestively. He laughed shortly before speaking up.

"Can we go visit my mom?"

"Of course." I immediately answer. Cemeteries may creep me out a bit, especially in the middle of the night but I couldn't deny him that. Plus I would be with him the entire time and that's all I really wanted to do, spend time with him. It only took a few minutes to get to the cemetery and with the help of a flashlight in his car we made our way to a grave.

We took a seat in front of a grave his back resting against the side of it and I sat between his legs, my back against his chest. His heart beat was abnormally slow but at least it was still beating. The flashlight we had carried in with us laid on the ground beside us. It seemed like he didn't welcome the light because he flicked it off, leaving us in total darkness.

His mother's grave was very decorated, it seemed like him and his father took real good care of it and I was happy for that, hopefully my family would be like that with mine too.

"I know what you're thinking and stop it. There's still a chance for a miracle to happen with you, you can still live." His voice sounded pained, talking about my death or just death in general tended to upset him.

"You too." I retaliate causing him to chuckle, I knew it was a longshot for the both of us really but maybe miracles could happen.

"When I do die…" He spoke and it hurt me that he used the word 'when' instead of 'if'. "I really want to be able to see her again." His voice was so soft I had to lean back into his chest to hear him. "I mean I should apologize for being the reason she's dead right?" He tried to joke but it wasn't funny to me.

"You aren't the reason she's dead and I bet if she had a choice she would do it all over again because a mother's love is unconditional. She loved you, maybe as much as I do." I tell him sternly though I laugh at the end, I was sure a mother's love was greater than any other on the planet.

"You'd be a great mother." He told me. My eyes watered slightly at the thought of being able to have children but I knew it wasn't an option. Sensing my discomfort with the conversation Naruto spoke again. "What do you think it'll be like?"

I looked up at him.

"Death." He clarified.

"I would imagine the actual dying would suck but maybe there's a place we go afterwards." I try, the religious part of me praying for this to be true.

"I guess, it's certainly a possibility." I knew he didn't really believe in such things but I was thankful he wouldn't rain on my parade. He did that a lot with me, he accepted my views on certain things without judgment.

We stayed in silence for a while, I enjoyed the feeling of his chest against my back and his calm breathing in my ear. I could feel his beating heart and realized yes, it was incredibly slow. I was almost falling asleep, something formidable and surprising seeing as we were still at the graveyard.

"I'm really glad I walked into your hospital room all those months ago. I was pretty sure I was in love with you the second I saw you and these months have just been reassurance." His voice sounds surreal.

I pinched myself without him knowing to make sure I wasn't dreaming. "I'm sorry I turned out to be your grenade." He apologizes making my heart drop into my stomach. "I'm sorry all I'll leave on you is a scar."

I choked. "You aren't." I tell him turning myself over to sit on his lap, my forehead pressed with his. Both of our eyes are closed. "You aren't my grenade, you're my happiness. And you won't leave a scar on me." I assure him, not bothering in explaining myself.

I was sure of my decision now, I knew what I wanted to do. I didn't care if my parents wouldn't be okay with my decision, it was my decision to make and I had already made it. Resting in his arms I had decided that Naruto Uzumaki would not die.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Okay. I know matching tattoos are completely cheesy and whatever but if any couple could pull those off it'd be these two so I regret nothing.


	10. Unknown Goodbyes

**Author's Note:** I adored your reviews! It may sound sadistic but I enjoy knowing my story elicits tears as a reaction. Hahaha, anyways to answer a quick question in the reviews there will be one more chapter after this and then if I feel like writing an epilogue I might but I haven't decided. Enjoy the read!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto or its characters.

* * *

I got home from the night out with Naruto at almost six in the morning. It was just enough time to shower and go to the hospital like Tsunade had asked me to. Naruto offered to drive me but I knew my parents would want to be the ones driving me, plus I knew Naruto needed sleep.

I wore a long sleeved shirt to hide the newest contribution to my body. I wasn't ashamed or even scared of what my parents would say but I wanted to tell them after I had told them the other thing.

We drove to the hospital as per usual, made our way into Tsunade's office and waited for her to wheel me into a room where she would do more tests on me. I breathed in slowly as they drew blood from my arm, I had to talk with her now.

"Dr. Tsunade." I called her over and intrigued she stopped what she was doing to look at me. "I was wondering if I could ask for a favor."

By the end of our conversation Tsunade looked absolutely contrite but she had told me that if my parents agreed than she would do this for me. She would find Dr. Jiraiya and make sure my plan went as smoothly as possible. I nodded at her in gratefulness, she had no idea what a relief it had been that she was willing to do this for me.

All I needed to do now was have a talk with my parents, a talk I was sure wouldn't go over well. We drove home that afternoon in complete silence, I knew what they were thinking about; my death. We arrived home like usual and my mom went into the kitchen to prepare lunch, she had told me she wanted to make my favourite.

I didn't give them time to start lunch before I dropped the bomb on them. I was careless with my words and way too blunt for my delicate mother but it had been the only way I could picture this conversation starting. My parents were left in stunned silence for a long time before I spoke up again.

"Come on! I'm going to die anyways." I tell them, reminding them of the truth.

"Absolutely not!" My father roared while my mother held onto the kitchen counters for support. "You will do no such thing, especially so soon." His voice broke in the middle of his denial and I knew, I just knew he wasn't entertaining the idea.

"Are you kidding me!? You'd rather keep me for a mere month tops and let someone die?!" My voice was enraged, I was angry.

Both my parents flinched and my roar caused my siblings to pile down the stairs to see what was happening. "Stop being so selfish! I'm going to die dad, there's nothing going to stop it." My voice softened. "There's no miracle with my name on it, I've looked dad."

"Inevitable." My mother spoke up catching all of our attention. "You're right." She nodded, tears continuously pouring down the curve of her cheek.

"Hanako…" My dad turned to her, a sad look in his eyes.

"No, she's right Hiashi. We can't be selfish we know what's coming. It's the right thing to do."

I knew my cousin and my sister must've been confused but I also knew how smart my cousin was and I could tell from the look on his face that he was already piecing it together. I smiled ruefully at him before he blew off the handle.

"Please." I pleaded with all of them. My voice held the vulnerability they rarely got to experience around me. "Please let me do this." Tears sprung to my eyes as I said the words.

I had officially admitted defeat. I wasn't going to fight anymore, not for me and not for them. This was the last thing I could do before I died.

"F-fine." My father stuttered out, his own eyes watering uncomfortably. I smiled at him in appreciation and went to work on making the many phone calls I had to make. If this was going to happen it had to happen within the next few days.

The rest of the afternoon I spent talking with Dr. Tsunade and Dr. Jiraiya. Both had been kind enough to drive over to my house and discuss my future plans. I felt really relieved to have met Jiraiya before it happened, it was a big help to know he was a great doctor.

Upon my parent's conditions I had to tell my sister and my cousin personally as well as Sasuke's family and of course Naruto's father. So that night my father had asked them all to come to my house, Naruto not being involved. It felt weird hiding such a thing from him but I knew it was the right thing to do. Knowing him, he would forbid me from doing what I was going to do. And I couldn't let him do that.

The conversation with everyone around turned out to be a lot easier than I thought, after the initial shocked faces they all seemed to agree that it was logical. Minato had pulled me aside shortly to speak with me.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked me.

"I am, I'm in love with your son and he deserves better than what he's been given." I assure him and the happy tears that roll down his cheeks are more than enough encouragement for me to hug him.

"Thank you." He tells me, voice thick with emotion. "You don't have to do this right away if you haven't fully decided." He spoke up, giving me another way out.

I shook my head. "This needs to be done now."

He looked me in the eye and his reminded me so much of Naruto's, it kind of hurt but it was comforting at the same time. "I think you were meant to be his angel." He laughs and I smile, I hope that would be how Naruto would see it.

When everyone was leaving my house I spot Sasuke not budging. I walk over to him in confusion, wondering if something was wrong with him. I could see he was crying but I wasn't sure why. "Do you want to spend the night?" I ask him instead.

He looks over at me and nods his head.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sasuke and I were in the playroom playing video games, something I was never really any good at but they still helped relieve tension. We had been playing for hours and I was impressed Sasuke hadn't lost his cool with me yet, I was making us lose a lot.

"Naruto is awful at this too." He tells me. "He always wants to be a hero or something and save the hostages even though it's not within our mission." He's laughing and crying at once.

"Sounds like him alright." I answer, my voice filled with awe for the boy.

"Did the tattoo hurt?" He asks me, chin pointed towards it. I laugh and shake my head, I think he could understand better than anyone that cancer pain out beats tattoo pain.

"He showed me his this morning. He…he really loves you Hinata." I turn my face away from him, I know his next words won't be something I want to hear. "I don't know if he'll forgive you."

Breathe, I remind myself. I knew that was a big possibility, especially with doing this without his knowledge. He would be angry at everyone for not telling him and especially angry at me but this was my only option. I had thought this through and I was sure of my decision.

"I know, but that's okay." Sasuke looked over at me, his black unfathomable eyes taking every inch of my face. "I was actually hoping you could do me a favor." Intrigued he nodded for me to continue.

I told him of my favor which surprisingly had him smiling. He had agreed without any questions or complaints and for the first time I thought maybe things would work out as best as they could with the lives we were given.

Before we fall asleep Sasuke says one more thing to me, something I won't forget, not ever. "I've never said this but…thank you. You didn't know but you were my strength when things got bad. Meeting you was probably the only upside to having cancer. I've never had a friend as good as you've been maybe aside from Naruto though even he had been away for a long time." I could hear his tears more than I could see them in the darkened room.

"I will always be your friend, your best friend." He finished reminding me of when my mother had assured me she would always be my mother.

I smiled at him and grasped his hand. "You are my best friend." I assure him through a smile. I didn't know if this would be my last conversation with Sasuke but I knew what had to be said was said tonight.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The next day I spent entirely with my family. We played board games all morning and went on a picnic in the afternoon. I was lucky enough to see my cousin's girlfriend and find out they planned to get married. Hanabi actually convinced all of us to play with her in the park and so as a family we went through very embarrassing stunts causing my dad a skinned knee and my mother to laugh so hard she fell off the monkey bars.

I wanted to make sure this day produced enough good memories to last them a lifetime. I needed them to remember me as I was today, because even if I would die soon I would die with a smile. This cancer had not defeated me, I wouldn't live but I would still be smiling because I had gotten a great life with great friends and a wonderful family.

It was late in the evening when we arrived home. My little sister begged me to piggy back her up the stairs which I really couldn't say no to, no matter how much my body protested while doing so. "Goodnight Hanabi, I love you." I leave before she can see me cry.

As I'm making my way down the stairs Neji bumps into me, his face unusually sad. I use both hands to make a creepy smile appear on his face and I almost burst out laughing because of how ridiculous it looks. "Aw man Neji, you look hot."

He frowns at me, well he tries to though I'm still holding his lips so it looks even worse than before. Finally he pries my fingers away from his mouth and hugs me tightly. He didn't need to speak for me to understand. "You are an amazing older brother." I tell him, letting him know that I had long ago accepted him as such. "And you will be a hell of a doctor I am sure." He smiles and kisses my cheek before getting to his room.

I continue my way down stairs to see my parents sitting forlornly on the couch. They seem lost in thought yet not necessarily sad. "Today was great." I speak up as I walk in front of them. They look up to me with matching smiles and nod their heads, agreeing that today had been a great day for us.

"I love you guys and just, just know that this is in no way your fault." I tell them, my voice confident and beaming. I was no longer afraid of this, I wanted to embrace it.

I saw them cringe slightly but my mother only got up to place a calming hand on my cheek. "It's not yours either." She assures me. I didn't know if they knew I thought it was my fault for not being able to keep the cancer away but if they didn't know they sure as hell did a good job at guessing. I smile thankfully at her, this was a big relief on my part.

"Just to let you know…" My father spoke up, cupping the cheek my mother was not touching. They held hands in between me as well, it was sweet to see them so united. "We couldn't have asked for a better daughter Hinata. You are what your name states, a sunny place. You are brave and strong and kind and we will love you until the end of time." Tears, I could feel them wanting release.

"Maybe even more than that." My mother adds in, her voice unusually happy.

They would be okay.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I arrive at Naruto's house later that night to have Minato open the door for me with a smile. "He's in his room."

I nod and mutter a quick 'thank you' before rushing up the stairs. I was glad his door was open and he could see me walk towards him so I didn't have to scare him by knocking or something. The last thing I wanted to do was cause him an episode. When he noticed me he sat up from his laying down position a great big smile on his face. I felt some slight pain well up in my heart but I ignored it as best I could.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you here. I thought you were spending the day with your family?" I smile at his enthusiasm, I love that he's always so happy to see me.

"I did, we were out all day, thought I would stop by for a bit. If that's alright with you?"

"You don't even have to ask." He says with that big smile on his face and he pulls me over to him so we're both laying on his bed. His bed smells great, just like him.

"I wanted to give you something." I whisper making his previously closed eyes to open and look at me.

From my back pocket I pull out a string of pictures, we had taken them the very first date we had gone on. He told me I should keep them but I wanted him to have them instead. He looked at them and smiled, I guess remembering a much simpler time for us.

"You were so hard to get to know, always keeping me at an arm's length away." He chuckled lowly. "But I understand now, why you had done it. I guess you really liked me huh?"

"A lot, I liked you a lot then. And I love you a lot now." He carefully took the pictures from my fingers and went over them one by one finally landing on the last one, his surprise kiss. I felt horrified then but now I was really glad he had done that.

"I want you to have them."

"Why? I told you, you should have them."

I know he told me that but now, now I just felt like he had to be the one to remember me. "Because I want you to remember me, to remember us."

"Like I could ever forget." He said seriously looking at his wrist then looking at mine. His gaze softened so much when he looked at our matching tattoos it made me want to tell him everything. But I held my mouth shut and I just smiled at him.

I kissed his jaw lightly knowing neither his heart nor my body could withstand a heated make out session. I really didn't mind all that much, being with Naruto was just as great as** being** with Naruto.

He shifted slightly and wrapped me in his arms that still felt strong even with him being so close to death. He kissed me lightly on the forehead and I felt warmth course through my entire body. "I will always love you." I told him shortly before falling asleep in his arms.

Minato woke us up a few hours later telling me my parents wanted me to go home. I had forgotten if only for a short while the importance that tomorrow held. Nodding at the older blonde-who exited the room- I turned to my whiskered boyfriend and kissed him deeply on the lips. He was stunned for a minute before he reciprocated the feelings with equal intensity.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He called out to me when I walked over to my car. I turned to him and nodded with a smile on my face.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Are you ready?" Tsunade asked me as I lay on a hospital bed with wheels. It was great for transportation purposes. I beamed at her and nodded my head. Looking towards my parents I reached out for their hands.

"Call Minato." I ask of them and my dad nods his head. He kisses me once more on the forehead, a few of his tears landing on my face.

"Goodnight." He whispers and it actually soothes me more than a 'goodbye'. My mother steps up and similarly kisses my forehead as well. Except she's not crying and for that I am thankful. "You my dear daughter are a warrior princess, no matter where you go."

With those final words both my parents exit the room to call Naruto's father and just Tsunade and I as well as some nurses are left. "It'll be painless I promise." She tells me and I nod my head in consent.

"You may not know but you are a hero." She tells me and for the first time I feel as though that could be true. My life wasn't meant for great things, I realized that when I got sick. But this, my last and final will could definitely have more an effect on the planet. That wasn't even that important, I didn't care if no one beside the people close to me knew of my doings. He would know and whether he forgives me or not I knew he would live and that was the greatest thing I could do with my short life.

I see a bright light on the ceiling above me and I squint because it so powerful. I find myself floating towards it, except it's not me, it's only a part of me.

But before I could fully reach the end someone tugged me back. "Not yet." I hear someone whisper into my ear and pull me back to the floor. It was weird, I could see myself on the bed. I imagined this would be the end of my story. I didn't think I would still be here, but I wasn't. No one around me could see me or feel me, I was dead.

I flat lined telling me I was dead and doctor Jiraiya rushed over for the incision. I didn't look, I always got a little queasy when it came to such things so I turned my head to the side to look at the person who had pulled my soul back into the room. She had red hair and strikingly grey eyes, she was stunning and I knew who she was. I felt it more than I remembered her picture.

She grinned at me much like Naruto would. "Hello Hinata."


	11. Forgiveness

**Author's Note:** Here we are…at the end. If I can be honest with you all this chapter was painful to write. I hope you feel what I felt while writing it. I'd also like to thank all my constant and new reviewers. Reading your reactions makes it worth it to write without pay hahaha.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto or its characters.

* * *

Being in the ghostly form -which I have yet to get used to- allowed me a lot of freedom, including going places where I wanted to be immensely fast. For example I thought about what Naruto was doing and immediately I was transported to a car where he and his father were seated, making their way to the hospital I hoped. Kushina sat beside me in the back seat, a glorious smile on her face from seeing her husband and her son.

"Can't we just stop at Hinata's house please? I want to tell her." Naruto begs his father and I feel slight guilt that he doesn't know. Kushina places a hand over mine and smiles reassuringly at me.

"No, Naruto we need to get there now."

"Okay. I can't believe they have a heart donor for me, dad! That is like a miracle and since I got mine I know Hinata will get hers too, it's just a matter of time!" The smile on his face could light an entire country and I notice Minato flinch when he mentioned my name. I hoped he wouldn't say anything until the procedure was done.

I didn't think Naruto would feel as happy to know the heart he was receiving would be my own. They arrived at the hospital in record time and immediately Naruto was cleaned and rushed to the surgery room. The Uchihas and my family are already in the waiting room hoping things would be alright.

I cautiously walked over to my parents who were holding hands and although I saw no tears I still saw immense sadness in their eyes. I guess time would be the only thing to heal that. I saw my little sister sobbing on my cousin's shoulder and I saw my cousin grasp TenTen's hand tightly. He knew he had to be strong but I knew he was having a hard time. I was glad TenTen was there to lend him her strength, he would need it for a while.

I looked over at Sasuke who looked as bad as Neji. He fidgeted and was grabbing the sides of his chair so terribly tight his knuckles were losing colour. Beside him Itachi tried easing the tension out of him. I was already dead but Naruto still had a chance, they had to have hope for him.

"Would you like to see how Naruto is doing?" Kushina asked me, her voice very sweet like my mother's.

"I ummm…" I stutter out. I didn't really want to see it happen, I just wanted him to be okay. I was glad she understood where I was coming from since she smiled at me in sympathy.

"I'll go and I'll update you okay?" I nodded slightly and she literally disappeared.

This surgery took hours and hours. I had more updates than the others so they were a nervous wreck while I seemed pretty calm. Finally after around five hours the doctors and Kushina came out of the room. "He's made it through the procedure. He should take a few days to recuperate but he will be fine, the heart seems to have adapted nicely to his body."

I felt relief wash over me like a wave in the ocean. I had never been particularly good at anything in my life but I was glad my heart had not failed him. All of my other organs had been shot to hell by this cancer, the only thing intact was my heart and I knew it was meant to be. It was the only healthy piece of me left and now it belonged with him.

I looked towards Minato and saw him smiling so broadly with soft tears coming out of his eyes, which also served to assure me of my decision. Kushina waltzed over to him and hugged him slightly, I knew he couldn't see her but it was almost as if he could sense her or feel her, I wasn't sure. I vaguely wondered how long she had been with them, how long she was planning on staying. I…I didn't know if I could stay.

I felt even more relief to look over at my family and see them smiling slightly. I had been utterly afraid that they would reject Naruto first hand because I had chosen to save him. I should've known better, my parents were amazing people and they had given all their faith and their love to me. The decisions I made they supported, this meant they would support him and for that I was thankful.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Four days. That's how long I've been floating around Naruto in his hospital room. His vitals were fine and everything seemed to be alright, he just needed to wake up. His mother was constantly in his room too, we hadn't really talked yet. Too busy focussing on Naruto but it seemed like she had something she wanted to say to me since she stood next to me and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder to earn my attention.

"Hinata, I'd like to thank you. I've been looking over my son all these years until I was certain he wouldn't need it and thanks to you that time has come. Not only did you save him and give him life but you've opened him up. You've made him fall in love and all I could ask for is my son living a life worth living which is what you've given him."

I smile at her. "It was my pleasure, I…I would've done anything to save him."

"What a beautiful person you are Hinata, to love someone so selflessly. It makes me incredibly happy that my son was able to experience so much with you. He will hurt, for the rest of his life most likely but he will understand."

That's about all we could say since Naruto was starting to groan and shift in his bed. The doctors entered the room as Naruto woke up and checked him over, explaining that he had just survived open heart surgery and that he needed to rest.

It seemed like his heart was doing well since the hospital had let visitors in the next morning. Of course his father came first and I watched -from my position on the window ledge- their reunion filled with smiles and happy tears. I watched Naruto look around the room and turn back to his father.

"Where's Hinata?"

My blood froze and I could tell Minato's did too. "You did tell her didn't you? I mean she's here right?"

"Naruto…" His dad said sadly.

"Dad, I really want to see Hinata can you please get her?" His joyful voice rang amidst the empty room and I had to look away from him.

Minato looked towards the floor, dreading having to tell his son the truth I'm guessing. Kushina made her way beside him and gave him some courage. "Dad, why are you so sad?" Naruto sounded like he knew something had happened.

"Son, Hinata isn't coming."

"Not today?" Naruto tried, holding on to every bit of hope he could.

"Naruto…" His father wasn't handling this well. His eyes were watering and the strength Naruto needed from him was gone.

Naruto swallowed a few times, blinking away something I couldn't see. "Dad, come on…I just want to see her. She won't stay long." He begged and my heart- if I still had one- would've ripped in two at the anticipation on his face.

"Son, Hinata isn't coming." Minato's voice was forceful but not in a harsh way, just in the way that he didn't want to speak anymore. I knew he didn't want to be the one to tell him about me, about everything but he had to.

"Okay, fine she's not coming today, maybe she can come in tom…" He was rambling and my face contorted into fear when his father spoke again.

"Not ever." His dad corrected causing Naruto's eyes to widen and his body and grow as stiff as a board. It wouldn't have been the words I would've chosen but I understood you could do nothing to spare Naruto's feelings in a situation like this.

"Pardon me?" Naruto questioned his father, his voice was literally a whisper.

"She's not coming, ever." His father clarified.

"Why not?" He asked, voice cracking slightly.

"Naruto, Hinata died."

There were a few minutes filled with horrifying silence. I could tell Naruto was at his breaking point. "No." I heard him speak lowly before his voice rose in volume.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. She's not dead! She can't be dead!" He yelled in agony. I stopped myself from reaching over to caress his cheeks which were already filled with tears. Something inside my ghostly body ached. I looked to where my heart should be and I looked back to Naruto.

I felt it. I felt everything. Everything he felt, I felt.

Perks of sharing one heart I assumed. Oh God it hurt, I wanted it to stop. It felt like my whole body was catching on fire, my head throbbed painfully and my throat was caving in. Was this what he was feeling? What had I done to him?

"Naruto, I'm sorry." His dad tried speaking to him but Naruto only shook his head from side to side. Finally he looked up at Minato a heart breaking look on his face.

"How?" His voice was so hoarse, it barely escaped the confinement of his throat.

"She…she wanted to." His father worded it in a way I knew Naruto would understand. It still didn't make him feel any better though, I only felt dread course through him.

"Please tell me it's not hers." He begged his dad pointing at his heart, eyes clenched closed. This was the most pained expression I had seen on his face, ever. I dropped to my knees in despair when my mind processed what he had said, he didn't want it. He didn't want my heart. The only good thing I had truly done with my life and he didn't want it.

"It is." His dad told him in such a strained voice I thought his father would end up on his knees like I am.

"GET OUT!" Naruto roared loudly, a yell containing nothing but pain. His father reached for him but Naruto's words stopped him. "Get the fuck out." The voice that had yelled in agony had dropped into a dangerously monotone pitch, even I was afraid. I watched as a dejected father stepped into the hallway, Kushina following him. Leaving me with a worried frown and a 'look over him please.' Something I was planning on doing anyways.

I was left with a grieving Naruto, not even that. I was just left with an angry Naruto. I could feel the anger coursing through my very blood, I didn't know sharing a heart could do such things. I watched him cry and cry. He couldn't stop, I couldn't stop.

"Make it stop." He whispered into thin air, grabbing at the cloth over his heart. "Please, make her come back… please."

His words were agonizing. I wanted nothing but be allowed to comfort him, to speak to him, to tell him everything would be alright. He looked down at his new heart with an expression between rage and depression. I wasn't sure which was more prominent. "Give out." He whispered to his heart. "Stop beating, please." I cried with him. "I don't want to be in a world without her. I want my shitty heart back and I want it to stop beating. So please…" He begged my heart. "Give up."

Nothing happened and he punched and grabbed the bed sheets around him. I tried looking away but I couldn't. His pain was my pain and I couldn't very well leave him like this. The tears were endless, his and mine. We were both crying but I knew he wouldn't know I was crying too.

"Naruto." I called out to him only for him to shake his head in despair. He was grabbing and pulling his hair with so much strength I was surprised none of it came off his head. "I need her." His voice was barely above a whisper but I had heard him. "I need her smile and her laughter. I need her strength and soft embraces." The words although were heart touching were threatening to explode my nonexistent heart. It was painful to see him like this, so broken.

"GIVE UP! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE! STOP BEATING!" He screams and begins to punch at his chest repeatedly.

I walked over to him and sat on the bed, knowing full well he couldn't see me. "Shh, Naruto. It's okay." I tried talking to him though he made no sign that he had actually heard me.

"It's not okay. I won't be okay." The words sounded so familiar. "I told you I wouldn't be okay with you dying and you go and do it anyways?" His laugh was joyless. "And to add on you make sure I live."

"Dying would've been easier than this." He keeps speaking to no one because I highly doubt he knows I'm here. I didn't know this was how much he loved me. I really didn't know. Not that it would have changed anything. I loved him just as much and I needed him to live out his dreams, to become the person he had always wanted to be.

Most of the afternoon he spent in solitude, brokenly crying out my name and as much as it hurt me too, I stayed by his side. Even if he didn't know it I would always be with him. He would always have a part of me, now literally speaking as well.

It wasn't until sometime in the evening that Naruto got another visitor. I was thankful to look at the door and see spikey, duck butt black hair. "Hey idiot." Sasuke greeted Naruto casually though Naruto wasn't falling for it.

"Did you know?" He asks, voice holding on to some restraint though I knew Sasuke could see the anger in blue eyes.

Carefully wheeling himself inside Sasuke looked at the blonde with sympathy. "Yes."

"Selfish fucking asshole." Naruto muttered before reaching over and knocking Sasuke in the eye. Grunting Sasuke shook himself slightly and looked back to Naruto who was in a sitting position on the bed. "You didn't tell me, why the fuck didn't you tell me?!"

"She didn't want me to." I saw Naruto flinch and silently chastised Sasuke for his lack of emotion. "She was right, you wouldn't have let her do it and you both would've died. This way, at least you get to live." Sasuke was merely stating facts but I could feel Naruto's rage growing with every word.

"Naruto." The blonde looked at his best friend immediately, dazed. Sasuke never called him by his first name, whatever words were coming we both knew were serious.

"She meant a great deal to me. She was my friend when no one else wanted to be, when I didn't let anyone else in." There was a hoarseness in his voice that led me to believe my family and Naruto weren't the only ones affected by my death. In my haste to stop being Naruto's grenade I had forgotten that Sasuke was in the wake of my destruction path. I cringed, how could I have forgotten? I thought out of anyone he would be the one who cared the least, how wrong I was.

"She was a strength I did not possess and she was the smile I couldn't let myself show. I loved her." Naruto's eyes grew the size of saucers and Sasuke corrected himself. "Platonically speaking. She was my family." My eyes got teary eyed. "And even though a part of me hates that she stopped fighting and did this… another more prominent part is thankful."

We both eyed him confusedly but Sasuke's eyes were only focussed on cerulean eyes and blonde hair. "She might've survived." He speaks honestly and I see Naruto clench his fists. "But the chances were minimal and she knew that. She knew what she was doing when she made this decision Naruto. She knew how much you meant to her, how much you meant to everyone."

I saw Sasuke breathe deeply and for a miniscule moment he caught my eyes. "So yeah, call me selfish but I'm glad she made sure you would live despite her fate. Losing her is bad enough, I…I don't think I'd live if I lost the both of you."

I saw Naruto's anger deflate into the same melancholic and despondent blonde he had been prior to Sasuke's entrance. "She loved you, a lot. Enough to shorten her life to make sure you live so don't be an idiot and waste it." He told Naruto before producing an envelope from his shirt pocket. It had Naruto's name on it. Naruto roughly grabbed the thing and looked towards the window, silently asking Sasuke to leave.

"Fine." After having said that Sasuke went out the room, shutting the door behind him. Naruto looked at the piece of paper in his hand and very slowly opened it. It was the favor I had asked of Sasuke. It was my only hope at getting his forgiveness.

'_Dear Naruto…_' He read in his mind and I was allowed to hear him read the rest. He didn't need any explanation as to whom it was from, he already knew.

'_I know you must be angry, I would be too if I were you but you have to understand this one simple fact. _

_I'm in love with you._

_I love you more than anything in this broken world and forgive me but with the chance to prolong your life I had to take it. I ask for your forgiveness not for giving you my heart but for keeping it from you. I knew you would not react favourably to the idea and it was the only way one of us could have made it.' _

I heard Naruto sob slightly and scooted closer to him to give him any comfort my ghost self could offer.

'_I remember you telling me once that I had stolen your heart. It seems things really weren't like that, on the contrary I believe it is you who now holds my heart, figuratively and literally.'_

I wanted to face palm at my lame joke but seeing him laugh slightly made me grateful I had thought to write that in there.

'_I did indeed do this because I love you but I also did it because I'm selfish. Because a world without you is a world not worth living, not just for me but for everyone close to you. You may not have known it but you've caused great differences in the lives around you and I hope you become the hero you've always wanted to be. I'm selfish because I did this without fully knowing how you would feel about it, I only thought of my feelings for you and for that I am also sorry.'_

Tears leaked onto the paper and he gripped it very hard once he noticed it was almost ending. He felt like he was going to lose me forever if he finished reading the rest of the letter, I knew because we shared the same heart.

'_Don't be mad at the others, they only did what they did as my last dying wish. They only want what's best for you just like I do. And just to be clear, I did not give up on myself or on us. I simply found a greater meaning to this life. I will never regret my decision, you have become my happiness and always will be even if I am no longer living._

_I will always love you Naruto Uzumaki. My love for you is infinite and I hope that tattoo on your wrist never lets you forget that._

_This isn't the end. We'll meet each other in the next life, that's a promise. _

_Your loving girlfriend, Hinata.'_

I wasn't sure if my letter did good or bad because he just stared at it blankly face filled with tears. I sat there awkwardly thinking about the last thing I had written. I believed in the next life, I did and I just knew we would see each other then. Ours was a love cut too short. I was really lost in thought until he spoke up, unknowingly gaining my attention.

"Girlfriend…" He muttered under his breath. "You would've been my wife." My face heated up at his smile and he looked right at me, almost as if he knew I was there.

"I'll always love you Hinata. And the life I'll live is a life I'll live for you…" He breathed in to calm himself and gather his thoughts. "And next one, we'll do it right. Just you and me."

I smiled and he smiled. As one last token of my love I chastely pressed my lips onto his, he looked momentarily stunned before he accepted it and smiled.

It would take a long time but he would be okay too and that was all I could ask for. After years of fighting and crying and being absolutely useless, I had done the most important thing anyone could in my opinion.

I had given Naruto Uzumaki another chance to live.


End file.
